My Year in Review

Ahh, remember the journey, constant reader?

JANUARY

Highlight: Mikey moving into my apartment.

Lowlight: The death of Anna Malle.

FEBRUARY

Highlight: Eating Erik Rhodes' ass in the bathroom at Micky's.

Lowlight: Valentine's seeming not much different than any year past with Mikey.

MARCH

Highlight: Winning The 2006 Orange County Theater Award for my performance in The Eight.

Lowlight: Blacking out from excessive drinking after The GayVN Awards. (Although, kissing Derrick Vinyard really makes anything better.)

APRIL

Highlight: Celebrating the four-year anniversary of my web show, The Young & the Curious.

Lowlight: Mikey and I unable to decide on monogamy or open relationship.

MAY

Highlight: Traveling! London, Paris and Chicago.

Lowlight: Seeing what Mercenary Pictures did in the editing room to my directorial debut, My First Interracial.

JUNE

Highlight: Driving to and from San Diego with Angel Benton.

Lowlight: Mikey moves out.

JULY

Highlight: TIE! Returning to my father and hometown of Columbus, Indiana for the first time in nearly four years. Having my mother come to L.A. to take care of me and refurnish my apartment after the Mikey fiasco.

Lowlight: Stopped working, stopped working out. Started eating myself into oblivion. Started becoming afraid of leaving the house for fear that someone else was going to hurt me. Still reeling from Mikey issues.

AUGUST

Highlight: Meeting up with Jazmine Giovanni for the first time since middle school.

Lowlight: Finding loads of demons beneath the surface in a month full of second guessing and doubts.

SEPTEMBER

Highlight: A ridiculously fun dinner at the Olive Garden with Brandon Baker and Kyle Foxxx.

Lowlight: Losing Chi Chi LaRue as one of my best buds.

OCTOBER

Highlight: Seeing Liza Minnelli live in Las Vegas with Mikey.

Lowlight: Strep throat while Troy and Holly Halston are in town.

NOVEMBER

Highlight: Seeing Barbra Streisand and Liza Minnelli perform live on the week of my 27th birthday.

Lowlight: Car repossessed.

DECEMBER

Highlight: So many highlights! Best month of my year! Travel! Rooming with the RentBoy.com crew while hosting The Gay Erotic Expo in New York and home for the holidays to Indiana and Florida. Getting my "groove" back, getting my car back and deciding to no longer settle for less in any area of my life.

Lowlight: Having to officially sever ties with my best friend of seven years.

What a roller coaster of ups and downs this year has been! I am grateful for all that I've learned and all I've experienced.

I think I've grown up. I feel like a lot of illusions are gone, but a lot of dreams have been renewed if that makes any sense.

Growing up in an abusive household, I became "the adult" way too soon, as in from the age of seven on. So when I broke free from that world and moved to Los Angeles, I met up with Mikey, who also felt all of 35 at the age of 21, and we both sort of decided we were going to give ourselves a childhood. We played and played and played like a couple of kids.

I can never say, "I didn't have much of a childhood," ever again. Because those years were my childhood and I am so happy I got to have them and there's no one I would have rather shared them with. But it's time to move forward, time to progress, time to grow up.

I want to work really hard. I want to be a real partner to someone who wants to be a partner to me in return. I want to be able to provide for a kid if I ever decide to have one. I want to get a house. I don't want to have one night stands. I want to remember there's more to life than how I look when I go to a club and that not everyone is looking at me anyway! I want to see the big picture and be responsible and put other people before me and give back to the world. I want to see people as individuals and human beings instead of "cattle."

I don't want to be a boy anymore. I want to be a man.

Still... a pretty good year.

Some things are melting now.

Two And A Half Hour Orgasm

It's hard sometimes, putting into words your most profound experiences. By its very nature, you're already diminishing its value, thinking that you can put down on paper what is so much bigger than words. But that is the challenge of every writer, I suppose. Sometimes it's easier than others.

I met someone last night who will go nameless because most of my friends here in Sarasota, Florida probably know who he is. It's a small town and people talk. I think he might have created this image of himself being "steely" or "unapproachable" or even "unobtainable" and I wouldn't want to ruin that, now would I? ;-) ...Yet.

Actually, I had met him before, both online and in person. We're both very head strong and we both had a lot of walls up then. So we clashed. Hard. Didn't get along well... at all. Arguments ensued even. "Who do you think you are?" Blah, blah, blah. Young angst. Fast forward a few years later. Run down. Defenses weakened. Older and wiser. Unsure now of whether we want to hit the other or kiss him. Always a great feeling.

We talked online for a while last night and there was just this intense, electric chemistry. The more we talked, the more it seemed like torture that we weren't in each other's presence. So I went to see him. He gave me vague directions (think breadcrumbs), hoping to circumvent the merger, that I might give up. I did not. He was too beautiful and my heart was beating too fast. I found him. He was rightfully impressed.

He looked exactly like the first guy I ever fell in love with, this straight guy from high school, Jonathan, but with dark hair. Cuter than him even. Hoody jacket and a baseball cap he kept turning every which way. Physically, he was my personal idea of perfection. I was literally shaking from nervousness when we kissed.

We spent the evening getting to know each other and making out inbetween. We walked around a pond and talked about our careers and our past relationships. When the subject of open relationships came up, we clearly differed. I tried explaining that I felt a relationship shouldn't be based in sex, and that if you have someone's heart and soul, why would you need more? He made a good argument though, saying, "That just sounds like a friend who is your fuck buddy."

Wow. How did he know that's exactly what I've been with for nearly two years?

He went on to say, "Why can't you have both? All of those things? Being in a relationship is being a partner and it's about giving 100%. No, 110% actually so that even if you slip, you'll always at least be giving your all. Monogamy is symbolic of that, of putting the other person before you. You give up certain things for the other person, you give them a piece of you, physically AND spiritually. Why would anyone settle for less?"

I had mentioned yesterday that I have come to the conclusion, as I approach the new year, that I have settled too often in my life on so many levels. I've settled for less than what I am worth in my career, certain friendships and relationships. But I hadn't yet thought of how you can settle for less in sex. Not only when it comes to sex with your partner, but sex when you're single even! Why settle for less than the electric chemistry I felt last night? Why have random sex with a stranger who you feel absolutely no connection to whatsoever? Maybe it's having been in a real, loving long-term relationship. But that kind of sex is just not the same for me anymore. I'm not learning anything from it. It's not even as good as masturbation.

I'm not saying I need to be in love with someone to have sex with them! But I'm saying, I need to have shared a real "moment" with that person and be sharing more than a cock and a hole. I hooked up twice in Indiana and it felt... empty. Like a chore. Like a cheap imitation. And that, too, is a form of settling that I ready to extricate from my life.

Last night was real. It wasn't settling for anything. On any level. And that was like, better than one two and a half hour orgasm. Better than vicodin. Better than all the chocolate in the world.

Whether I ever see this person again or not, I will never forget him for the moment we shared and for reminding me, yet again, of things I used to believe I was worth and that they could be attained. I forgot people like him existed.

...And that they would find me.

And recognize me.

Change of Plans

I was supposed to travel from Indiana to Phoenix, Arizona this morning to meet up with my mom's side of the family for a reunion at her brother's house. Unfortunately, my mother fell in the bathroom and split her head open two and half inches wide, suffering a minor head injury on Christmas Day. Naturally, she will be unable to fly while in recovery so instead of meeting up with her in Pheonix, I am now in Florida until the 1st to help take care of her.

The rest of my holiday in Columbus, Indiana was wonderful. The two trips to church on Christmas Eve were both the hardest part of my time there and also the most humorous. While there was no falling over backwards or dancing it the aisles, my father was right on when he said, "Not yet. It's on its way." Why people feel the need to put their hands in the air and sway to speak to Jesus and feel him in their presence, I've never been sure. But the part that really sent me over the edge was when the pastor started to talk about Jerusalem. He said, "Jerusalem, as a name, means city of peace. But they will never become a city of peace until they stop rejecting the Prince of Peace, Jesus Christ, Lord and Savior." I actually inhaled rather loudly at that point and explained to my father later that I felt the only way for Jerusalem to find peace is through tolerance for other people's opinions and religious beliefs -- NOT through a religion that claims they are the only path, the only way. That lack of love, unity and tolerance is the seed of the killing that is going on there today and for the Pastor to have said that, to me, was like throwing gasoline onto the fire.

On the upside, the evening service featured a communion and my little brother (who is absolutely in love with me, of course) decided he wanted to partake in it for the first time. I went up with him and they tell you, as always, "This is the body of Christ. This is the blood of Christ." Well, a few minutes later, after sitting back down, he leans over to me and whispers into my ear, "Um Jason, I can't believe we just ate the body and drank the blood!" I smiled and nodded. He leaned over again and whispered, "Don't tell anybody, but I don't believe that. I think they made that part up." I laughed and told him not to tell anybody but that I thought they made it up too.

I think it's safe to say that my father and I have pretty much completely healed the wounds inflicted on each other over the last four years. It makes me wish I had not stayed away so long. I feel like being gone, he just escalated this idea of me in his head to monstrous proportions, thinking that Satan had taken ahold me or that I was a full-on porn star or something. When I talked about my career with him this trip, he had no idea I was even writing and seemed so proud of that. He just knew I was bi and in the adult industry and I think he assumed the worst in his mind. So now he is fully informed and seems fine with everything -- though he does wish I would put more time and effort into what I went to Los Angeles for in the first place: a career as an actor.

I had a lot of down time to think about that too in Indiana. I feel like I have listened to too many people's opinions and lost sight of my own dreams, my own hopes and goals. You hear so many people tell you, "Mr. Perfect doesn't exist," or "It's nearly impossible for you to achieve your dreams," and you start to believe it. And when you start to believe it, you start to stray from the path you cut out as your own. You stray from your true self. At least, I know I have. I have settled for less in my careers, my relationships and my friendships in the past few years, thinking, "Well, maybe this is it. Maybe this is all there is."

And you know what? Maybe this IS all there is! But it's more important for me to be able to look back at the end of my life and say, "I gave it my best shot and never lost sight of my dreams."

The "Ex" Show

The X Show has just become the "ex" show at RAGE.

The problem is that as it stands right now, The X Show is not a "happy hour" show nor is it an official pre-show of The Dreamgirls. It is sort of a "limbo" show and it FEELS like a limbo show. It also hasn't had a lot of ad support, not to mention no web site, no professional photographer on hand with great images to help promote it, etc.

I decided before I left town that if there wasn't a drastic change in the backing and the time slot of The X Show, I could no longer pour so much time and effort into it. (It has been incredibly draining, being not only the host, but the producer -- and for not much profit or audience.) So I went to RAGE with some requests for what I needed in order to continue with The X Show, to make it really blossom in the new year. They were unable to meet those requests and I just really have to stick to my guns here and cut the cord.

I do own the rights to The X Show and can take it to another club. I had spoken previously with Jonathan Chang about incorporating it into a happy hour event at his club, Popular. The Dreamgirls have also approached me about becoming the emcee for their show, as none of them really like hosting their own event.

But we all know, Jason takes off way more than he can chew. For the first time, I am working really hard to budget my time in the new year and that means cutting out (or putting on the back burner) a lot of the projects on my plate. My main priorities for 2007 are to put as much time into my acting career as I do on my web site (it was, after all, the reason I came to town in the first place and my ultimate passion and talent, I've just gotten sidetracked) and to get the three spectacular pieces of gay porn from my company, DV8 Entertainment, out of the cans and onto shelves.

So, when time permits, I'll be back. Until then, I could really use the extra day in my week.

I really, really appreciate everyone who came out to support The X Show at RAGE. And if you're looking for local gay porn events, I would suggest Micky's Cocktails with the Stars on Thursday nights or Fubar's Dirty Deeds on Wednesday nights. ;-)

Guess I was in deeper than I thought I was.

"Strange" - Tori Amos

Home for the Holidays

I slept over 12 hours last night. I think it's the most I've slept all year! I am so used to being awakened by an alarm clock or a dog. I feel so refreshed it's unbelievable.

Columbus, Indiana is utterly breathtaking in that "small town home" feel, as always. I mean, SMALL town! Like there are people here who think they've never met a gay person in their lives. When I check in at the desk, because it says I'm from California, they want my autograph. It's total insanity. We live in such a bubble in Los Angeles. We have no idea what the rest of the country is really like.

I spent the day getting some last minute Christmas shopping done. Then met up with my dad, step-mother and step-brother for a great home cooked dinner and baking Christmas cookies while watching A Christmas Story and the Frosty, The Snowman TV special. LOL

My father and I are REALLY getting along. I am so glad I came out this summer to try to fix whatever problems we've had over the last few years. While we were shopping, I was doing everything from imitating Barbra Streisand to saying, "Okay, that shirt is way gayer than I will ever be!" and he was laughing hysterically. I haven't seen my father laugh in a very, very long time, much less over something I've said. It's really good to have him back.

I will not be on the computer for Christmas Eve or Christmas Day so I wanted to take this opportunity to wish all of my readers, my friends, my family -- you're all one in the same -- a very, very happy holiday. Your support through the past year has meant more than you will ever know. It's been a rough one with a lot of lessons learned, but I feel this Christmas that my spirit and my faith have been renewed. I feel 21 again. Maybe even 18. I hope Christmas brings out that spirit of youth, hope and optimism that dreams do come true, in all of you as well.

Joy!

In Diana

I finally fixed my iTunes issues -- on my own, thank you very much! (at last, independence! lol) -- and am putting together this great new Tori Amos playlist for my plane ride in a few hours.

You know... something to think about. When it comes to female singers, my mother and I are both very attracted to witches. Stevie Nicks was admittedly heavily into witchcraft for years and Tori is a devout Wiccan (same thing). I think it's definitely part of my attraction to them, the duality that they embrace in light and darkness. The ultimate Goddess figure, the "woman in the moon," and she who emobdies all feminine energy, emotions, intuition, etc. is Diana. And I just realized I'm about to be...

In Diana.

My last trip to Columbus, Indiana was as spiritually enlightening as my trip overseas, really. There's something about that ground back there where you sprang from. It has very little to do with my father or the Sechrests, but more to do with the soil, the land, the history of that land.

On my last trip, I did a lot of research of the land itself. Columbus used to be called Tipton, named after the man who originally founded the city. But Tipton was a meiser, a greedy fuck and wanted the town to basically be a shrine to him, everything named after him, his own legacy. And the townspeople drove him out, forcing him to sell the land. It was renamed Columbus and Tipton was pissed. And he was in charge of the freeways, biways, highways, etc. so until he died he made sure there was no way to get to Columbus from those main roads, making it this hard to find, hard to thrive town. ... This story, when I researched it, really hit home for me because if you look at Tipton and Columbus as a father-son relationship, I could definitely relate. Tipton wanted to make his "baby" into what he wanted it to be. He had his own ideas for putting his imprint on that land. But the land is stronger than one person. It was there before him and is there after him. He can't make it into anything it doesn't want to be. It has to be its own legacy, like everyone's child has to be.

I'm going a little crazy and getting a little spiritual here at midnight. Forgive me.

Anyway, just saying... there is something about that ground that brings me back home. Back inside of myself. Back to coming out of the womb. Back to the old drawing board.

Now on the downside of things, I have a feeling that this will not be some warm, fun-loving family Christmas, but I don't really expect it to be. It's Christmas with DAD, not Christmas with MOM. If I wanted warm, family time that's where I'd be. But I'm trying to repair this relationship and he all but begged me to come home for Christmas while tears streamed down his face. So... here I am.

Constant readers will remember the last time I was home with my father for Christmas was when the big "gay talk" went down. Or lack of talk, actually. The no talk. No spoken words. Just totaly neglect and invisibility to go with that cup of nog.

Anyway, the downside of things. As I was saying. It turns out dad has finally at long last after talking about it maybe happening for years, finally taken a job as the head of music ministry at his church. This means he has to perform at the morning and evening services on Christmas Eve. The good news is that I would travel to the ends of the earth to see my father perform his music, even the music from his new Worship album. The bad news is that I have to hear about The Great I Am and have messiah theories crammed down my throat after he plays. I think I'd rather use a condom. Oh well. I'm being a big baby, just wishing that for once the holiday could be about what I want to do again like it was when I was a kid. But those days are long gone. And I'm sure I can find something positive in the church's message to hold onto underneath all of the gunk. We are aiming for the same target at the end of the day, really.

The other downside is that I don't think Grandma is cooking this year. She is distraught over my Grandfather's Christmas-time death still and wants to bypass the entire holiday by helping out at a local homeless shelter. And therefore, very little family will be in town. I don't think my beloved Cousin is coming even, though I may be able to talk him into coming to hang out in my hotel room after the holidays. I am in town for an entire week, after all.

SO! The itinerary for Christmas Eve is church service in the morning, home to bake Christmas cookies with my little half-brother in the afternoon, dinner at my stepmother's family's house, then back to church for a late night service and finally home to wrap presents and crash. I have been promised Christmas Day is completely free and we will be making a huge turkey dinner for just us that day/evening. So hey, you give a little, take a little.

I am definitely spending Christmas with my mother next year.

NOT saying I'm not still looking forward to this trip. Just saying, I also don't have any delusions that it will be all about me. And that's the great joy of coming home to mom. lol... That it is always ALL ABOUT ME. lol

Mess.

Get me out of this city. I've got so much work to do. So much life to plan for in the new year. And I need to get away from the noise here to really do it justice.

Take me in, Diana. I'm coming back home, back to the zero point.

Surprise!

So I had a couple hours to kill before heading to the airport for New York last weekend and saw this ad on one of my favorite Madonna news sites, Madonnalicious.com. They were desperately seeking fans of Madonna's to do audio commentary for one of her biggest flops ever, Shanghai Surprise. Why were they looking for a fan to do the commentary? Probably because the movie is so horrendous, no one involved in it wanted to take part in this special edition DVD release. So I thought, "Oh hell, why not? I can write 100 words or less."

So in about 10 minutes flat, I jotted off how Madonna has influenced my life in every way imaginable; how I never would have come out so young if it weren't for constantly listening to her saying to be true to yourself and fuck what anyone else thinks, never would have had the balls to live on the streets of L.A. at 18, never would've done a lot of things if it weren't for her cosntantly being this inspirational source of ambition that has fueled me since I was four years old singing "Crazy for You" on the swings. She is like a second mother to me, really.

I honestly was just trying to kill time and didn't think anything would come of it, but when I landed in New York, I checked my email and sure enough they loved my "essay" and asked me if I would be available to be in Los Angeles on Tuesday to record the audio commentary along with a few of her other #1 fans. Why not? Sounds like fun and a good tribute to our lady M.

There was only one problem. I had never seen Shanghai Surprise. It was one of only four movies of Madonna's I had not yet seen, along with Blue in the Face, Shadows & Fog and Bloodhounds of Broadway. But I had read enough mountains of biographies and archived interviews on Madonna to know a lot about the movie!

Shanghai Surprise was only Madonna's second feature film (not counting A Certain Sacrifice), released in 1986, starring Madonna and her then-husband, Sean Penn. It was shortly after the two wed that they set out to make the film despite tabloid rumors of a tumultuous marriage and an awful script. Penn confessed years later that he doesn't remember making the movie because he was consistently drunk and says it is the only movie he has ever taken solely for the paycheck because the two of them were offered such a ridiculous amount of money to appear on camera together. The movie was produced by ex-Beatle, George Harrison, and it was the last movie he would ever produce for his short-lived company. Madonna has even noted it as being the one movie even she feels is truly awful on all counts. It was the wrong script with the wrong direcor and the wrong stars at the wrong time, trying to be some cross between Indiana Jones and Romancing the Stone. Naturally, I wasn't jumping to see the movie anytime soon, right?

But I didn't want to pass up such a great opportunity to pay homage to this woman who has inspired and influenced me so heavily, so the second I returned to Los Angeles, I picked up a copy of the movie and ran home to watch it.

You know how some movies were just released at the wrong time and improve with age? Yeah, well this is not one of those movies. It looks dated and worse than it's ever been probably. I don't even know if it can qualify as a funny B-movie or cult classic because there's nothing funny about it. It's just boring and inconsistent. However, I don't think it's Madonna's fault by any means. She's no great actress in it by any stretch of the imagination, but at least she is riveting to watch (most of us back in 1986 would have watched her eat soup for two hours she was so riveting!) and without her, I don't think anyone would have even sat through the entire thing.

So I decide this could be really funny and to my advantage. All of the others, being Madonna's #1 fans, are probably going to be kissing ass to the movie and her performance the whole time, right? I can waltz in there and be the comic relief and be blatantly honest about how much the movie really sucks!

Well, that was not to be the case at all. As it turns out, with the exception of one dude who really genuinely loved the film, they were more vicious than I would have ever dared to be. And not to the movie -- but to Madonna specifically! Every time she came on the screen, she didn't even have to open her mouth, they would just blurt out something nasty and rude about her! And these were supposed to be her biggest fans, right?!

As much as I would have loved to have thrown my own hilarious jabs into the pot, my protective instincts took over and I found myself defending her throughout the entire ordeal. Which was not funny at all and totally lame! But someone had to be on her side! I was not about to sit there and let a bunch of fags get catty and gang up on who I consider to be like a second mother to me! And we all know if she had been in the room, they would all be bowing down to her.

There was one guy in particular who, although he was a wealth of information and knowledge about the movie, was also an utter asshole. He wouldn't let anyone get a word in edgewise and wouldn't hear of anyone having an opinion other than his on the movie. And if you voiced an opinion that was different, he had to literally have the last word like some petulant child, saying, "Nope. Bad." at the end of every discussion. I think we all wanted to wring is neck.

Anyway, so much for my great shout out to Mo.

The Shanghai Surprise: Special Edition DVD, featuring audio commentary by Jason Sechrest, is due out in the spring of 2007. LOL... The things I get roped into doing. Yet another D-List gig for my IMDB profile. In the meantime, here are some clips from the movie in George Harrison's music video from the movie's title track.

Dreams

Although I am thankful he hasn't been consuming my every thought during the waking hours, I can't seem to escape from Mikey in my sleep. I keep having two reoccuring dreams about him and I finally ended up having to consult my dream book for insight.

DREAM #1: Mikey and I are outside somewhere and see Tori Amos on a cell phone. She smiles very warmly when we approach her but puts up her finger, silently asking us to hold on while she finishes her call. The dream ends there.

Usually when Tori comes to me in my dreams, she is speaking to me directly, giving me advice. So it was odd to see her in this context. Dreaming of celebrities in general though is always about wanting to connect to the energy that they hold, to enter those aspects of our own self. The real key here is the cell phone she carries which denotes a desire to reach out, to make immediate contact, which is usually due to a recent detachment from someone. And interestingly enough, here's she asking us to to hold on, to wait it out. So maybe Tori is speaking directly to us afterall, saying in regards to our current situation and the sadness of it all, "Just chill. Give it time. It sucks and it is hard, but things will get better."

DREAM #2: I see Mikey on his way to a club and he is with my ex-boyfriend Scott Williams. I'm immediately kind of put off and made uncomfortable by the situation. I ask Scott what he's doing and he says he's in town for a couple of days and wanted to see Mikey. (Mikey and Scott did know each other, but very briefly.) I am immediately hurt that he would make plans with him, but not even call to let me know he's in town. Suddenly, I realize Scott isn't the only one with him. It's every ex-boyfriend I've ever had. Not just ex-boyfriends, but even the guys I lusted after in high school are there. He's got Jonathan Weissman, Garad Copstead, Danny Wulfing, Jason Galanes, Mac Turner, Christian Owen, seriously everyone you can think of -- and as they walk away, it's almost as if they're all marching in some sort of parade-like formation down the street.

I asked myself in the dream, "Why would Mikey be hanging out with all of them?"

I asked myself the same question when I awakened from the dream. It just didn't seem to make any sense.

It took me hours before I finally realized... why wouldn't he be grouped together with them? He is one of them now.

Timeline: Gay Erotic Expo 2006 NY

* It should be noted that this time line is probably off by a long shot because I have absolutely no sense of time whatsoever. Seriously. I can have a conversation with someone thinking it was to weeks ago and it turns out it was like seven months ago. But I think I've come a little closer than that with this detailed account of the festivities from my weekend in New York.


FRIDAY

4:05 pm - Plane lands at Kennedy airport in New York City. The off-and-on sleep on the plane is all I've had since Wednesday night. No drugs, just lots of caffeine. I grab my oversized suitcase that could easily have fit Angel Benton into it and hop into a cab, telling the driver to take me to the Four Points Sheraton on 25th and 7th. He battles rush hour traffic into the city as I blast Madonna's "I Love New York," Liza's "I Happen To Like New York," and Tori's "I Can't See New York" on my iPod.

4:55 pm - The cab driver made kick ass time, especially for rush hour. I am the first of the RentBoy.com crew to check in. Angel, Brandon Baker and Rusty don't get in until midnight. There are others too, but I don't know who they are or when they're arriving. There are two rooms between us. I really like the hotel! I was kind of expecting worse for some reason. It served its purpose quite nicely though.

5:10 pm - So awesome to be the first one in the room. I get to hook up my computer, set up my toiletries, mark my territory by taking a piss on everything in the room, etc. I am mad horny from all the hotties in the airport so I sign onto Gay.com and see what's up in the New York chat rooms.

6:15 pm - How much do I love New York? Within an hour of being online, there were tons of hot guys wanting to come over and get boned. I am suddenly reminded of how my first trip to New York was the trip that turned me into a slut. I think I had sex maybe a few times a year before my first trip to this city. I fucking love this town! So I decide on this hot "straight boy" (uh huh) who wants cum on his face. Fortunately, he looked just like his pic. A&F model easily. Ridunkulously pretty and pulled off the straight thing quite well. He comes over at 8:00 pm and leaves at 8:45 pm.

9:00 pm - I run on the treadmill for an hour and ten minutes in the hotel gym listening to Tori Amos's Under the Pink album.

10:30 pm - I catch up on work emails.

11:30 pm - I turn on Letterman. Clint Eastwood is appearing on the show for the very first time, plus this other dude from the series Lost, Matthew Fox. They show a photo of him in a football uniform from when he played in college and I get an instant hard on.

Midnight - Angel starts text messaging me that they have just landed. While typing a response to him, there's a knock on the door. I go to open it, but without averting my eyes from my cell phone where I'm typing the reply. I hear, "Um... oh. Hi. Hello." I say hello back but am so engrossed in my conversation with Angel, I still haven't looked up. When I finally do, I nearly drop my cell. It's this hot blonde boy who seems thoroughly lost, sort of looking around in circles, until he finally say, "I must have the wrong room." I ask him if he's sure about that. He asks if it's Brandon's room. I explain that they have just landed and will be here soon.

He introduces himself as Chad Leigh. I recognize the name immediately but have never seen him in any movies or interviewed him. He asks if I'm a porn star and I laugh loudly -- VERY loudly -- and say no, to which he replies, "Oh, so you just escort?" I didn't know whether to be totally flattered he thought I was either of those things or totally pissed he had no idea who I am! I told him I was just hosting the show.

We laughed and he started talking about how horny he's been all day. I told him I'd been the same. There was a moment of awkward silence and then, "Well! It was nice meeting you!" "Yeah, yeah. You too, I guess I'll see you around."

12:15 am - I jack off thinking about Matthew Fox.

12:30 am - Knock at the door. It's Chad again. He is so soft spoken and polite, it is turning me on! It's sort of like he doesn't have the slightest clue how hot he really is. And that is always the hottest thing ever! He says he's bored and I invite him in. As soon as I shut the door, it's like magnets. We both just went for each other and started kissing. I pull out his dick. It's fucking gi-normous! The entire time I'm thinking, "How am I going to do this? I just came less than five minutes ago for the second time in four hours!" But all I have to do is taste his butt and I'm rock hard again. He may be known for his big dick, but he is right up on my top ten list for best butts in the biz. Again, polite as hell, he says, "You can get up on top of me if you want." ... Now, I thought for a long, hard three minutes before I finally blurted out, "What exactly does that mean, get up on top of you?" Right? I mean that can consist of so many things! But of course, it was his polite way of saying, "You can stick your dick in me." ...Four thrusts and he came. Which, normally, I'd be disappointed by, but I'd just gotten off five minutes ago so I was pretty much just glad to be of service, completely flattered and inevitably crushing on him and eating his butt for the rest of the trip! ;-)

1:10 am - I google Chad Leigh and find these photos from Lucas Entertainment.

1:15 am - In walk Angel, Brandon and Rusty. Just a few hours before, I was nearly falling asleep in front of the television, but the second the three stooges walk through the door, I am riding high as a kite on my um-teenth wind, bouncing off the walls with energy, telling them all about my adventurous and advantageous evening.





1:30 am - Angel, Brandon and I decide to walk the streets of New York to find food before bed. We find the most kick ass 24 hour bakery and deli around the corner. We buy some food and bring it back to the room. But after eating, we're now wide eyed as marigolds and nowhere near tired.

2:30 am - Angel decides to busy himself with his blog while Brandon and Rusty proceed to get into the most insane wrestling match I've ever seen. According to Angel, this happens all the time. But it's seriously intense. Like, they literally pick each other up and throw each other across the room. I was savvy enough to capture the moment on tape.

3:00 am - Rusty has beat the shit out of Brandon so bad that Brandon starts to throw up. This happens twice, in fact, and from what I gather, this is a normal thing with Brandon. He throws up a lot. It's not an eating disorder. It just happens. I don't know if he isn't like Patsy from Ab Fab where his body is just pickled and not used to anything but drugs and alcohol or if he has a stomach ulcer, but it's something he needs get looked at. Rusty provokes this by making vomiting sounds and each time he does, sure enough, like a knee-jerk reaction, Brandon loses his lunch. The second time, Rusty filmed it with my camera. Don't watch it if you're not looking to get totally grossed out.

3:30 am - Throwing up isn't Brandon's only bodily dysfunciton. He also happens to have flatulence that could probably kill a small dog. It's toxic and fatal. And during the wrestling and fighting, he sometimes can't control it. So every time he let one loose, I literally would crouch behind the bed (see photo) hiding from the fumes. What's crazy though is that he can get away with it! Like, he can have it coming out of all ends, and we still fucking love him to death and he still rocks the house as a famous escort so cheers to you, Brandon! Fuck. To be loved for the illusion is one thing, but to know you're loved flaws and all, that must feel pretty fucking good.

3:45 am - The tables are turned. Brandon and Rusty decide to start attacking me and I am suddenly in the middle of a high school sleepover complete with pillow fighting, dry humping and bloody toe nails. Just watch the video.

4:15 am - I love how when Angel is done blogging, he gets up, starts to the turn the lights out and all of us little children just know it's time for bed. Angel has not said one word in the last two hours. He was dealing with his own drama all weekend which you can read all about in his blog at AngelBenton.com for an entirely different personal perspective of the Gay Erotic Expo to say the very least.


SATURDAY

10:00 am - Before showering, before breakfast, before coffee or tea and most importantly before makeup (!) we meet up with Chad Leigh and Tony Dancer who were staying in the room next door. We head over to the Rent Boy office and the expo to set up before they open their doors to the public at 3:00 pm.

11:30 am - Brandon's boss, Tom, takes us all to brunch. Chad whips out his dick in the middle of the street. Once at the table, Brandon and Rusty amuse themselves with sugar, drawing it up into lines to make it look like coke. (Ironically enough, no drugs were done by anyone on this trip that I know of at least.)

1:00 pm - We head back to the hotel to shower and get ready for the show. When I get out of the bathroom, Rusty and Chad Leigh are laying naked on the bed with their asses in the air. Rusty tells me he just got boned by Chad's big dick. I gasp, "REALLY?! Oh my God!" I run over and spread his ass cheeks apart, "Wow, yeah, he opened you up!" Pause. Rusty says, "Um... I was kidding actually. But gee, thanks." Oops!

3:10 pm - I arrive about 10 minutes after The Gay Erotic Expo officially opens its doors to the public. I meet with Cashetta, my drag queen co-host, and we discuss how we're going to be splitting up the interviews during our stage shows throughout the day. Cashetta is a total sweetheart and the life of the party! She loves to get crazy with the porn stars, but was glad to have someone with first-hand knowledge of what it is they are there promoting, what they're most famous for, etc. We both worked very well together, despite a few technical difficulties with the microphones that provided a bit of set back in comedy and overall comfortability at times. Through it all though, she was a fucking trooper. Even when I called her Coachella. Which was only fair because my name was spelled wrong in all of the posters and ads, not to mention the fact that they used a photo of me from over 6 years ago. Hilarious!

You can catch all of my stage shows and interviews with Cashetta and the porn stars on an upcoming episode of Adult Undercover exclusively on JC TV here at JasonCurious.com. Look for it in the next few days!

But let me tell you what I learned that day at The Gay Erotic Expo.

- Despite the fact that no one could get ahold of Erik Rhodes and he never showed up at the booth, the RentBoy.com booth was still hands-down the hottest exhibit at the expo. It had the biggest crowd surrounding it at all times with fully naked boys, sex shows, fan photos, the works! I must say they really outdid themselves and outshined all of the rest.

- While Chad Leigh was the biggest crowd pleaser, always in the spotlight jacking off or playing with his hole for people to take photos, Tony Dancer meanwhile was making the most money! He would literally take guys to a back room or a bathroom and turn tricks throughout the day, making fistfulls of bills -- not to mention the fact that he was seeing clients both before and after the expo! He was definitely one of the most ambitious escorts I've ever met!

- Carlos Morales tells me he has never been happier than he is with his decision to start making bareback movies. He says he's always been kinky like that and just finally decided it was time to do it on camera and unlike a lot of the controversy surrounding A-list performers who first made that transition, Carlos says he really hasn't experienced a whole lot of drama. I think he is probably grateful for those others who sort of paved the way.

- Michael Lucas was THE face of The Gay Erotic Expo. It's his town, his turf, and posters of him were fucking everywhere. We both had some jabs on sage, but that's just because both of us love the catty shit so much. Off stage, we were pleasant as punch to each other and I really do admire him for all he's been able to accomplish. Now, onto a couple of his exclusives that were on hand...

- Jonathan Vargas is just stunningly beautiful to me. He is to lips what Stonie is to ass in gay porn. They are so soft too. We flirted throughout the show and he would get beat red. He's actually very shy and claims to be a complete clutz when it comes to talking to guys. "You need to teach me how to talk like that!" he kept saying. "I just go up to people and say something stupid about the weather and they walk away."

- Ben Andrews is a total fucking sweetheart, but just so completely different than I ever pictured him being. First of all, I never met anyone gayer than me until meeting Ben Andrews. We were both wearing more makeup than Jon Benet Ramsey throughout the show. The interesting thing I learned about Ben though is that he doesn't like sex all that much -- or, at least, what sex he does like, he is very, very picky about. He doesn't have much use for anal sex at all and he doesn't like anything that has to do with the ass including eating hole or getting his eaten. And the only time he really likes to suck dick is if there's foreskin. "That's what I REALLY love!" he told me. "Foreskin. That's pretty much what does it for me."

- Jason Tiya showed up as a regular patron and tells me he went through rehab and is getting ready to launch his own company in the coming weeks.

- Although dozens of people there came up to me and said how much they love JasonCurious.com, I had a few people actually come up and tell me that My First Interracial is one of their favorite movies. It was nice to hear, really. Despite the drama involved in the movie, like I said, I always knew it would find its audience. They seemed anxious for my next movies. Stay tuned boys, I've got three in the can and lots of tricks up my sleeve for 2007!

- The Helix booth was getting a lot of attention too with exclusives Mason Cox and Aaron Tyler signing. Mason and I got along quite well! He is so much cuter in person even! And he is growing his hair out and I'm all about that 70's look. There was a lot of me touching his hole if I remember correctly.

- The guy in the COLT shirt is actually just an assistant for the expo, but my God did he look like he should've been behind the Lucas Entertainment booth!

10:00 pm - We left the expo an hour before it closed so that we would have time to refresh ourselves before heading out to the official after party at Splash. Unfortuntaely, when we all got back to the hotel room, we laid down on the bed and all simultaneously fell alseep for twelve hours. None of us made it to the party. Oh wait, that's not true. No one from my room did, but I think Chad went. He met up with Ben Andrews there later on and Ben sucked him off twice, once in the hallway of the hotel or something. Chad says he gives some of the best head ever!


SUNDAY

9:00 am - I was the first awake in our room. I took a shower, got dressed and met up with Brandon Baker for breakfast. We stop by this corner bakery and who do we run into but former Jet Set exclusive Tag Eriksson of all the people in all of New York City! (At first, I thought he was my ex, Jared, and threw my arms around him. God, they look so much alike it's fucking frightening!) Tag was dressed to the nines -- and I mean the NINES -- in a gorgeous and obviously very expensive suit and tie so I'd say its safe to say real estate is working quite nicely for him.

In the past, Angel has declared Brandon to be Dick Van Dyke and me to be Don Knotts with my constant clumsiness. This morning, Brandon's "Dick" was out in full force. He went to go shake his chocolate milk without realizing he had already taken the cap off and it went flying everywhere! All over himself. All over the table behind us. All over the floor. And as he couldn't stop laughing about it, food ended up flying out of his mouth and into my drink. ... Oh, Brandon.

12:30 pm - Brandon and I arrive back at the hotel to find Angel and Rusty are just waking up. We gather Chad and Tony to jump in a cab ourselves and rush to the expo, as it starts at 1:00 pm.

1:00 pm - The second day at the expo wasn't nearly as busy or energetic. The crowd was sort of Dullsville and everyone was still tired from the night before. But that's really par for the course at these sort of events. Highlights of the day included a hot 6' 5" black guy named Diesel pissing into a bottle on stage, Manuel Torres doing body shots off of the Rent Boys at the bar and Tony Dancer fucking Chad Leigh with a dildo. I also met Heather, the publicist for Lucas Entertainment, who absolutely embodies her emails. She is just this adorable bundle of sweetness. She and Michael must have a really special relationship together.

8:00 pm - The entire Rent Boy group along with Ben Andrews and Tom's lovely female photographer head over to The Empire Diner for dinner. There is a curly headed girl there playing the piano and it's only a matter of time before I scream out, "Anything Tori Amos!" She slowly turns around and says, "Never." I laughed uproariously at her reaction and asked why. She gets up from the piano and comes over to me to say privately, "Because her pieces are so difficult! I wish I could play her stuff. The only thing I can play of hers, or at least her version of, is a cover she once did." I told her I know all of Tori's covers too and she said she could play "Angie." I tipped her $5.00 and you better believe she worked it out and played "Angie" for over ten minutes! It was incredible and she was great. If you ever stop in, tell her I said hi and ask her to play Tori's version of "Angie" for you.

8:30 pm - After a long wait at Empire and not being impressed with the menu, while the others stayed for dinner, Brandon, Rusty and I decided to go see the world's largest Christmas tree in Rockefeller Plaza. What a gorgeous sight. The thing is huge. I've never seen anything like it. (STILL talking about the tree, FYI!) We also stopped by the skating rink but the line was hours and hours long. And besides, Rusty was completely plastered from the body shots at the expo and was yelling at the families to have a very merry Crystal meth-mas.

9:30 pm - During our walk to Times Square, Brandon ended up throwing up in the bushes of the Hilton. It was only his second time today. I am hoping they will put the video for that up on Brandon's blog at PartywithBrandon.com because it was his camera. You can hear me laughing so hard on it in the background, I sound like I am dying. I seriously don't think I've laughed that hard in a few years. My ribs hurt and I was crying streams of tears. I'm sorry, it's really not funny but it's just so insane how often he does it that it becomes a joke! And at the most random times, in the most random places! And that Rusty can encite it by making vomit sounds and feels the need to capture it all on camera. God, you had to be there!

10:00 pm - We went to dinner at the world famous Libby's where all the Broadway stars go after their shows to eat. We sat under Rob Lowe's photo. Unfortuntaely, Barbra's was taken. We had a good, long talk while Rusty sobered up and ordered $17.00 hamburgers that we probably could've gotten for $5.00 on the street.

11:30 pm - The rest of the gang was supposed to go to Splash that evening so we went there to meet up with them, forgetting that Rusty had lost his wallet with his IDs and such and couldn't get in. When we called the gang to see if they had any pull, we found they weren't even at Splash yet! So we headed back to the hotel and once we were there, we decided we were staying in.

12:30 am - What ensued after everyone else left was not something anyone should be proud of. You know the fighting/wrestling that Brandon, Rusty and I got involved in Friday night? Well, we took it to another level. A level that included cupcakes and various bathroom products. We were smashing cupcakes into each other's faces, spraying everything from hair gel to tanning mist onto each other. At one point, I grabbed a belt and started reading from the hotel room Bible as I whipped Brandon.

We tore that fucking hotel room apart like we were the Rolling Stones or something. There was shit all over the bathroom floor, wallpaper ripped off the walls from claw marks, icing on the pillows and a little "cupcake ravine" between the two beds.

The first thing any of us had to say after coming down from the entire things was, "Angel's gonna be pissed!"

1:30 am - Momma Benton walked in and Brandon and I bolted out of bed. We had just laid down to go to sleep. "Unbefuckinglievable," was I think the word out of Angel's mouth. We regailed him with the saga of our evening before heading off to sleep.

MONDAY

8:00 am - I awakened, showered and packed for my plane leaving at 11:40 am. I was sad to go because the boys had a whole nother day here in town to play, but I had to rush home to prep for Tuesday's X Show as well as a gig I got doing audio commentary on a special release edition of one of Madonna's most famously rotten films. Don't ask. I'll tell you more tomorrow.