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I move into The Mans this morning. It's my last night here in the apartment and I can't sleep.

It's just weird, all these boxes and the vacant walls and stuff.

I've lived here in my one-bedroom apartment on North Stanley longer than I've lived any place in Los Angeles, not to mention it's the next to longest I've lived in one place my entire life.

I've always been the kind of person who was able to move to the streets of L.A. when I was 18 because I believe home is within me -- not any external place.

But the truth is, right now, I'm very scared.

I know I'm just being stupid. I'm getting shared use of a huge mansion, plus a yard for Sadie and friends for her to play with, a swimming pool, a patio for parties and grill outs, my own separate entrance to the place, regular maid service and practically a live-in cook, just to name a few of the amenities!

But my God, my actual living quarters is smaller than my living room.

And I have had so much privacy for so many years. I don't even let people come over unannounced. Now I'm moving into a place with 7 people.

That's not to say that I don't already know it's the best decision for me. It's an opportunity I've jumped on because it's not every day that you can save a shit load of money to upgrade your living conditions. But though the upgrades are many, it's still going to be an adjustment.

So many things of my family's I won't even be able to enjoy. Where will I put all these stupid hundred dollar Royal Daulton mugs? You know, the little figurines of the characters? Have you ever seen those? They're just silly family heir loom brick-a-brack. ...And what about the pictures of the two French waiters that hang above my stove that my mom got me just because she thought that space on the wall needed something? Stupid stuff to be concerned with or sad about. But they are mine. And I can't use them or see them now.

Still... save a grand a month, move into a mansion and give Sadie (and quite possibly myself!) a much fuller existence.

I'm very lucky.

It's just scary letting go of something so familiar. And let's face it... it was only about a year and a half ago that I was borderline agoraphobic! Afraid to connect with anyone for fear of being hurt. Afraid to leave my house to go to the grocery store.

I've known for a while that's not who I am anymore. But...

Now...

Any chance I had of ever retreating back into that person...

Gone.

I probably should've made the move a long time ago. Too many things I've hung onto being here.

I'm definitely leaving a couple of skeletons in these closets when I walk out that door on Wednesday morning.

And as scary as that may be, I can't deny that it's for the best.

I also think -- no, I know -- that I'm needed in that place right now . Like Mary Poppins was needed by the Banks, honey! There's a lot I can do for that house and all of its tennants right now. But those stories will come in time.

My mom says, "I don't think there's ever been a time in your life up until now that you could've lived with this many people. But now, I think you can and I think it will be good for you."

She's right, though it's not the first time I've lived with people! I lived for many wonderful years with Brinke Stevens when I first moved to L.A. who was the best roommate I could've ever asked for. And truthfully, my favorite period living in this apartment was the short time I lived here with my ex-boyfriend. So maybe it's not so scary after all.

Anyway, it's an adventure.

I'm thankful you're still taking it with me. I might need you for this part of the ride more than you know.

Remember when I told you a couple years back that I wouldn't be writing about my personal life anymore?

Mmm. All that's about to change.

Out With The Old, In With The New

Boy am I glad I didn't go to New Orleans! Right?!

Thankfully, I asked Brandon Baker to make my flight for Saturday because I didn't want to get a guest host for my shows here in town. So while everyone else left on Thursday and got stuck, I knew by Saturday they were forcing evacuation. Fortunately, all of my friends are safe although it has not been an easy task for them getting home. I've been getting updates from them daily and watching Weather.com like crazy!

I wasn't so scared of the storm itself. Call me crazy but being stuck in a hurricane with Brandon Baker sounded like it could be one big roller coaster ride! My biggest fear was not being able to get home by Wednesday -- not only because I have so many shows to host here during the week, but also because I have a limited number of days before I move out of my apartment on the 15th.

I know. Yeah. I'm moving. After having lived in this apartment for over 7 years. I've been trying to find a way to tell you all. Not that it will impede my shows or anything! I'm in fact moving closer to the gay club mecca area of West Hollywood.

But above Sunset! Into a gorgeous mansion!

Well, the guest house actually. With a huge back yard for Sadie, a pool and shared use of the main house with the other tennants.

The other tennants are... drumroll, please!

Andy Kirra and Tristan Mathews! ...YAY!

No, I'm not kidding!

And why are you giving me that look??! Andy's actually lived there for years. It's often referred to as the Kirra Estate, henceforth to be referred to here as "The Mans."

No, I am not making this decision hastily and in fact my decision has very little to do with the two of them. It's a good financial decision for me. I make a lot of good money these days yet still live very hand to mouth. This place will save me around a grand a month -- and it includes many expenses like high speed Internet, maid service, cable with premium channels, gas, water, electric, etc. I'm 28 years old and it's time for me to start putting some money away once I'm able to. It's probably one of the smartest decisions I've made financially. And you know us creative types, we are BAD with numbers.

My personal living quarters will be a bit smaller, but hell I sure can't consider it a downgrade when I'm moving into a mansion and have shared use of the entire place! Driving up the driveway to the huge house and being able to say, "Wow, I actually live here!" is worth it alone to me.

So, as of the 15th, Jason Sechrest lives in the Hollywood Hills! And all my friends will be coming by to grill out and hang by the pool on a regular basis, which I'm very excited about.

Oh! And the guest house is practically sound proof -- unlike the EXTREMELY thin walls in my current apartment, which means I can be as loud as I want when it comes to music, sex, etc. Hot!

I'm also looking forward to living with people again. The other tennants in the house, besides Andy and Tristan, are also all very good friends of mine so I'm looking forward to being around my friends 24/7 while still maintaining some privacy as the guest house is a bit removed from the rest of the property, with it's own back entrance and such.

Oh and did I mention one of them is a professional cook? Yeah. Amazing. I'm stoked.

So I'm really excited, but I'm really busy obviously!

Due to the next two weeks being crazy with packing, club promoter Anthony Lopez and I have both come to the conclusion that it's way past time to let those two shows at MJ's Bar come to an end. I feel bad because the small crowd there is totally devoted to the show and they really seem to love it, but that small crowd just isn't enough to make the bar what they need to keep it going. And with my other shows right here in Weho being so successful, I really hate dragging my ass all the way to Silverlake to get scattered applause as opposed to the mass sea of people screaming when I walk on stage on Wednesday nights at Here Lounge. The MJ's thing has lasted over a year for me though and it's been a lot of fun. I might end up doing one Thursday and Sunday a month there but I'd want it to be big. Maybe like a roast for Chi Chi LaRue or something. Or maybe a club night called "Launch" that would serve as a release party for a different major gay porn studio each month? Ooh, that could be fun!

Another thing cutting those shows down does is it gives me the freedom to go work with other club promoters. I felt fairly obligated to Anthony Lopez with four shows a week to not do anything with anyone else, but by agreeing to cut the shows in half, I am now free to work with a lot of people who have recently become good friends of mine like Paul Nichols, Ray Rhodes, Jonathan Chang, Ingenue, Livonia, etc. I also wouldn't mind hosting some stuff that isn't porn related. The Here Lounge show on Wednesday has taught me I really don't always need to be interviewing porn stars. I'm just a good club host in general. Lord knows I scream loud enough! And I could get a crowd amped for just about anything! Of course, the keyword being "crowd." ;-)

So less than 24 hours after deciding to stop the MJ's shows and telling two of my friends, I had a couple different venues approach me about doing shows for them! WOW! I can't tell you how wanted and appreciated that made me feel. I love this town so much and all the people in it.

I don't want to start the new nights until after I move though. I think there will be two at the moment. And I think the first week for both of them will be the last week of September so stay tuned for announcements soon. They're going to be different than the shows I'm doing now. Very different. Different formats, different... um, "content." That's all I'll say for now! ;-)

Oh, and I'm incredibly honored that I've been asked by Here Lounge to take on one of their biggest nights of the year: Halloween! I'm bringing aboard Chi Chi LaRue and we've been putting our heads together to come up with some seriously fierce ideas to bring you the dirtiest, sexiest, scariest Halloween party in all of West Hollywood! More on that to come too.

I can't believe it's actually been a little over a year now that I've been hosting shows again in West Hollywood. After Cocktails with the Stars at Micky's (I still miss that show!) and the brief run of The X Show at RAGE, I took about a year and a half hiatus.

My constant reader(s) will recall it was a pretty horrible year for me. I lost a lot of gigs at once, along with my best friend of seven years and the only long-term boyfriend I'd had. It was one of those moments in life where everything you thought you knew was true and real and safe comes crumbling down around you and there's nothing you can do to stop it but crawl under the covers and hide from the rubble. Just thinking about the frame of mind I was in back then gets me a little choked up. I was...... in a word, devastated. Afraid to go to the grocery store devastated!

Yeah. It was bad, gurl. Because psychologically, I thought, if all these things I thought were real and forever and safe can hurt me, who knows what else out there could hurt me too at any moment? Who knows when the floor underneath me will literally give way and swallow me whole?

The lesson the universe was trying to teach me at the time was that there are no guarantees in life no matter how much you try to play it safe. I learned that I didn't need a road map to feel comfortable driving on the road of life any more. And also that I needed to stop selling myself short.

A lot of people helped me out of that depression, but one person who did so much without knowing was Anthony Lopez. His phone call asking me to host two shows a week for him were the first thing that got me out of bed and forced me to be social again. I had maybe gone out in West Hollywood two or three times in a year. Suddenly, I was out two or three times a week. This time with a new outlook and as a very different person than I think people had seen hosting at Micky's several years back.

It was Anthony's encouragement and faith in me (and often dropping the ball or not getting things done on time! ;-) ) that forced me to put one foot in front of the other again, now with my own legs under me and on my own two feet.

So I can't thank him enough for that really. He didn't really know it at the time, but these gigs, the people I meet doing them, they have totally changed my life.

And as mentioned a few weeks back, I've never in my life ever been happier than I am right now, so...

Let the good times roll on! ;-)