On The Way To The Oscars...

I forget a lot.

Probably because I've lived so much life already and because I'm in such a constant state of motion, I forget little things -- and it's usually the little things that are the most important.

For instance, I often forget that I live in Hollywood, California. After a while, it just seems like any other place really. Just more traffic and less genuine people than most other parts of the world. But there are a couple times a year I am always reminded of what this ground I reside on represents to millions of people and one of those nights is The Academy Awards, namely because there is no escaping it. It's hard enough to get to the gym and the grocery store on a daily basis but on Oscar night there are miles and miles of road right outside my place that is blocked off for everything from red carpet arrivals to pre-parties and after events. It's like the entire town becomes a crime scene with helicopters flying over my apartment and the tourists coming out in droves to spot anyone who they think might be "someone."

And I think, my God, I really live here. Every day. ... I wanted to live here for so long. And now, I actually live in the city where just a few blocks up and a mile or two to the right, The Academy Awards are being held tonight.

The first time I really watched The Oscars was with my grandmother on vacation in Hilton Head Island. I think I was probably around 10 years old. She had us make a list of the movies that were our favorites and who we thought should win. She was also the woman who taught me the meaning of the word "drama" -- and you can take that however you'd like, really. She explained to me what acting was when I was in second grade and encouraged me in that direction as she had seen me memorize and act out entire movies, taking on characters, especially from musicals, literally since I could speak.

Growing up, I would pretend on Oscar night that I was at The Academy Awards, performing live my nominated song of the year! I would hold up some trophy I'd gotten for writing or debate in school and pretend it was my Oscar and make some grand speech to what I am certain remains an audience of spirit guides in a bedroom I'd have much preferred to be an auditorium or just anywhere with a stage.

I moved to Los Angeles right after I graduated high school to pursue my dreams, even when it meant living in a shed with rats and snakes as company, and even when it meant ordering a large pizza on Monday and making it last all week long. I had never been so sure of anything in my life as I was that something was waiting for me here in this town and that this was where I finally felt like I belonged.

Nearly ten years later, I've gotten a little sidetracked along the way to say the least, but my dreams still haven't died and that is an accomplishment in and of itself I have decided today.

I forgot until this morning that where I'm performing with a live band tonight is actually an Oscar party in Hollywood. Eleven Lounge is doing a red carpet arrival dealio tonight and the whole bit with a viewing party. The singer showcase itself tonight is a tribute to movie music and I'm singing some of my favorite songs from my favorite films during commercial breaks for The Academy Awards just a couple miles from where they are being held ...while they are being held.

It reminds me I'm not as far as I think I am some days.

It seems like yesterday I was just a kid performing with a highlighter as a microphone dreaming of living in this city, getting paid to be an entertainer and performing on Oscar night.

Wow, that part of the mission is actually accomplished tonight.

Obviously, Live at Eleven is nowhere near the stage at the Kodak Theater.

But I gotta tell you, it's a step up from my old bedroom.

I've Come To Realize...

This is from a MySpace Survey I caught on someone else's page called the "I've Come To Realize" Survey.

I like to do these now and then. ;-)

It makes me feel like I'm in high school again -- and serves as fantastic introspection!



I'VE COME TO REALIZE...

THAT MY LAST EX...
...and I will never be friends again.

THAT WHEN I TALK...
...a lot of people are entertained and a lot of people are turned off, but a lot of people listen.

THAT I LOVE...
...my family more than anything in the world.

THAT I'VE LOST...
...nothing that was very important or I wouldn't have lost it.

THAT I HATE...
...being submersed in one thing for too long. My days need to be very well-rounded.

THAT MARRIAGE...
...is something I want, something I wouldn't take lightly, something I would rather not have than have with the wrong person. I've realized a lot about marriage in the past year, really!

THAT I WILL ALWAYS BE...
...a work in progress.

THAT MY CELL PHONE...
...does not have a very good roaming plan!

THAT I AM CURRENTLY...
...doing laundry and avoiding updating "The News Desk."

THAT BEFORE I GO TO SLEEP AT NIGHT I...
...bring my dog up on the bed with me and hold her and sometimes tell her everything that happened in my day and how I feel about it all. Things I don't tell anyone else.

THAT TODAY...
...was a great day because I let it be great.

THAT TONIGHT...
...Blake Riley is performing at my Here Lounge event Porn Star of the Week in West Hollywood, filling in for someone else. He didn't have to. He doesn't need the money. He doesn't need the PR. He's just a good friend and a really selfless person and those are so hard to come by in Los Angeles so I'm really looking forward to having him there again.

THAT SCHOOL IS...
...not the only way to become educated.

THAT TOMORROW...
...is not to be lived for like the present.

Back On Set

It must be three or four years since I've been on the set of a straight porn shoot. Between the ages of 20 and 24 (2000 - 2004), I covered 240 shoots (check those numbers - no such thing as coincidence, huh?) for not only JasonCurious.com but magazines ranging from Club International to Hustler to Inches to Badpuppy. After that many shoots, I must confess, I was burnt out. I grew tired of it and decided to pen the news and gossip from the comfort of my "News Desk" here in my West Hollywood apartment, calling up my friends to say, "Hey, what's the dirt? What happened on set today?"

But since the beginning of the year, you may have noticed, I feel a second wind when it comes to working in adult entertainment. I took a long enough break from things like the conventions, being on sets, etc. to really appreciate it now coming back to it. And that sense of appreciation is exactly what I felt today on the set of Wicked Pictures' Lowriders.

To be perfectly honest, there were moments where it felt like coming home. The crew at Wicked, from camera men to production assistants to makeup artist, has not changed in four years except having gotten a little bit older and they were all really happy to see me after so many years. Some of them I used to have serious crushes on. And that has not changed either. I had completely forgotten how much fun I used to have with these guys, goofing off between takes, eating lunch, etc.

Speaking of which, it should be noted that craft services on a straight porn shoot are far superior to gay shoots. Granted, Wicked is kind of known for having the best food on their sets ever, but more often than not there is usually a chef on the set, cooking home made gourmet meals or really expensive catering companies are used to bring in up to three meals a day. Gay shoots have potato chips, Red Vines, a veggie tray and they order a pizza half way through the day. The only time a straight shoot orders a pizza is when it is 10:00 pm and they are going overtime. This is obviously not the only different between straight and gay sets, but it certainly gives you a good idea of what the rest of the differences are.

Wicked's "Lowriders" is an all-sex vignette piece directed by Brad Armstrong, themed around vintage cars and gangster with a predominantly Spanish cast and all around flair.

Because I was hired to cover the sex scenes for Club International, I can't tell you much about those -- that's exclusive to them. But what I can tell you is what went down with the sex wasn't happening!

And that, along with the video blogs from the set are available in the "News Desk" blog at: www.jasoncurious.com/desk/

Catching Up

If it's not one thing, it's another! I have finally gotten back to updating the "News Desk" blog/column on a daily basis (in preparation for the return of its guest columnists as well as syndications) but it has meant I've gone missing from my personal "Diary" blog here it seems.

Only so much time in a day, right? So let's catch up!

- At the last minute, I actually changed my mind about Obama and have decided to support Hillary Clinton. (Interestingly enough, I've also been asked to sing at a fundraiser for her a week from Monday and if I can coordinate with my piano player and find time to rehearse some fun material, I'll do it.) I really believe in Obama's vision, but I think there's too much damage that has been done under the current administration and too much "clean up" that needs to happen before he will even begin to implement a lot of what he wants. He also just doesn't have a lot of solutions or answers. He is a good man with a good heart who believes in all the right things for once and that is so rare -- but he doesn't have many answers for how he's going to go about it. I think he would be insane to not jump about the Clinton ticket as Vice President. Let that woman clean up the mess so that he can come aboard and change America for the better after she's done, right? The only thing people can say against him right now is that he doesn't have much experience and you can't say that after he's been the VP! A Clinton/Obama white house is really enough to make me a little hard to be honest. The idea of what that could do to help our country turns me on more than any porno I've reviewed this year.

- For those of you who read this on my pages at MySpace, DList, etc. you might not know that I've started a new vlog. Is that the right way to say it or is supposed to be v-log? I'm still learning. Either way, it's a video blog and it's at YouTube.com/JasonCurious where I dish on the latest gossip of the porn world at parties, on sets, and at my actual news desk!

- I have fallen in love with this site called Pandora.com. It creates radio stations upon your preferences of favorite artists. For instance, I say my favorite artists are Tori Amos, Liza Minnelli and Stevie Nicks? It plays not only those three but also Annie Lennox, Shirley Bassey, Judy Garland, The Eagles and more. It's a great solution for me because since the iPod shuffle became a part of our daily existences many years back, it's like we've had our own radio stations -- except it doesn't introduce us to anything we haven't heard. And I do miss that! So Pandora Radio is pretty freaking hot! And they've got B-sides, live tracks, anything ever commercially released even in box set format. Check it out!

- I am also totally obsessed with the Britney Spears story right now. I really haven't been on the bandwagon of following her whole downward spiral until this excerpt from the Rolling Stone article was released and now I can hardly contain myself. You see, I am 28 years old. I come from the generation where we were still told Michael Jackson was never in that oxygen tank! The National Enquirer was just full of blatant lies more often than not, certainly not news. So there has always been a part of me that wonders how much of what we read on these gossip blogs is true. But, as I've said before, I'm a big fan and subscriber of Rolling Stone magazine! They are hardcore journalists over there with edge and when they write an article, you can bet your ass it is rooted in truth and that it is not sensationalism. A lot of people are taking issue with the article being called "Inside An American Tragedy." I've seen so many people comment online, "American tragedy?! Rolling Stone should go to Iraq!" ...Yeah, you know what? Rolling Stone has been to Iraq! If you're going to take issue with a media outlet for that sort of thing, go after The Enquirer! Rolling Stone has followed the war in nearly every issue (including this one) and as far as I'm concerned the fall of Britney Spears is definitely an American tragedy. It's far more than the unfortunate circumstances surrounding one girl. Britney was an international icon that served as an inspiration for so many young people when she came out. I remember seeing her performance of "(I Can't Get No) Satisfaction/Oops, I Did It Again!" at the MTV Video Music Awards and turning to my father to say, "She is the closest thing we've had to a Madonna in so many years. She's the next big thing." We all looked up to her. Furthermore, it's also significant of the rise of that generation's obsession with superficiality. It was around the time of the teen pop and boy band's re-emergance into mass popularity ergo hysteria that we as a culture became obsessed with celebrity, pornography, a red carpet and all that was aesthetically appealing even at the sacrifice of anything with substance. And Britney Spears is living proof of what becomes of that life wading in the superficial. And it's not her fault. She was never taught anything but! The rest of us? I don't know that we can say that for the rest of us.

- I love Chris Crocker's new vlog where he finally confronts the homophobia that is totally rampant on sites like YouTube. Actually, he is taking The Advocate's lead and gives them proper credit for his inspiration. It's really something that has needed some light shed on it for so long. I remember the first time I started watching gay video blogs on YouTube, MySpace, etc. and the comments, the pure hatred for homosexuals, just horrified me. I mean, where do these people live?! Because life is not like that here in California! Life is not even like that where I lived as a teenager in Florida! And maybe in the small town of Columbus, Indiana where I was born there's a small handful of fag haters. But these video responses of eleven year old boys saying, "You're a fucking faggot. Why don't you go suck off your dad? All fags get AIDS and die!" just makes me think I must be living in a fucking bubble. How is this okay with their parents?! And really, again, WHERE do they live??! What parts of America actually has people this uneducated because we need to do a march or some shit there! This is not 1987, ya know? Ever seen Will & Grace? The View? The Real World? Do you people not own a television? ...Sorry, my questions are now rambling. But I'm just honestly so very confused by it all. And it sucks but I too am guilty of not really doing anything about it. I just kind of shrugged off the comments and after a while said, "Oh well, I guess there's just always going to be people out there like that." You know, the gay community has come a long way. But thank God for the YouTube haters to show us that we also have such a long way to go. Everyone has a right to their opinion. But everyone has a right to being educated before they make their opinions too. These poor pre-teen fag haters don't understand what they're even saying, much less the kind of bad ju-ju they're putting out there into the world. May God have some sense of mercy on them, seriously.

The Next JFK

Holy crap!

Caroline Kennedy, the daughter of John F. Kennedy, has been doing major, major endorsement work for Barack Obama, claiming that she was too young to understand what it meant when people told her how much her father inspired them and how she feels she has now found her own voice of inspiration for a new world.

Wow. Caroline Kennedy believes Barack Obama is the next JFK. I'm a little inspired by that alone!