On The Way To The Oscars...

I forget a lot.

Probably because I've lived so much life already and because I'm in such a constant state of motion, I forget little things -- and it's usually the little things that are the most important.

For instance, I often forget that I live in Hollywood, California. After a while, it just seems like any other place really. Just more traffic and less genuine people than most other parts of the world. But there are a couple times a year I am always reminded of what this ground I reside on represents to millions of people and one of those nights is The Academy Awards, namely because there is no escaping it. It's hard enough to get to the gym and the grocery store on a daily basis but on Oscar night there are miles and miles of road right outside my place that is blocked off for everything from red carpet arrivals to pre-parties and after events. It's like the entire town becomes a crime scene with helicopters flying over my apartment and the tourists coming out in droves to spot anyone who they think might be "someone."

And I think, my God, I really live here. Every day. ... I wanted to live here for so long. And now, I actually live in the city where just a few blocks up and a mile or two to the right, The Academy Awards are being held tonight.

The first time I really watched The Oscars was with my grandmother on vacation in Hilton Head Island. I think I was probably around 10 years old. She had us make a list of the movies that were our favorites and who we thought should win. She was also the woman who taught me the meaning of the word "drama" -- and you can take that however you'd like, really. She explained to me what acting was when I was in second grade and encouraged me in that direction as she had seen me memorize and act out entire movies, taking on characters, especially from musicals, literally since I could speak.

Growing up, I would pretend on Oscar night that I was at The Academy Awards, performing live my nominated song of the year! I would hold up some trophy I'd gotten for writing or debate in school and pretend it was my Oscar and make some grand speech to what I am certain remains an audience of spirit guides in a bedroom I'd have much preferred to be an auditorium or just anywhere with a stage.

I moved to Los Angeles right after I graduated high school to pursue my dreams, even when it meant living in a shed with rats and snakes as company, and even when it meant ordering a large pizza on Monday and making it last all week long. I had never been so sure of anything in my life as I was that something was waiting for me here in this town and that this was where I finally felt like I belonged.

Nearly ten years later, I've gotten a little sidetracked along the way to say the least, but my dreams still haven't died and that is an accomplishment in and of itself I have decided today.

I forgot until this morning that where I'm performing with a live band tonight is actually an Oscar party in Hollywood. Eleven Lounge is doing a red carpet arrival dealio tonight and the whole bit with a viewing party. The singer showcase itself tonight is a tribute to movie music and I'm singing some of my favorite songs from my favorite films during commercial breaks for The Academy Awards just a couple miles from where they are being held ...while they are being held.

It reminds me I'm not as far as I think I am some days.

It seems like yesterday I was just a kid performing with a highlighter as a microphone dreaming of living in this city, getting paid to be an entertainer and performing on Oscar night.

Wow, that part of the mission is actually accomplished tonight.

Obviously, Live at Eleven is nowhere near the stage at the Kodak Theater.

But I gotta tell you, it's a step up from my old bedroom.