The Not So Private (But Still Personal) Diary of Jason Sechrest Host/Publicist/Manager/Journalist/Actor/Singer/Director/Web Entrepreneur/Liza Minnelli.
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
My Weekend In San Diego
I took to San Diego last weekend to host the pre-party for a three-day event called The Crucible. I'm not sure if we were fighting for Don't Ask, Don't Tell or fighting against it. (I think I'm for it. ;-) ) But regardless, it was a weekend of military men and gay porn stars so hell, it seemed right up my alley. Naturally, when I was contacted by Brent Everett's main man, Steve Pena and his business partner, Nicholas Di Simas to come out and be a part of it, I jumped at the opportunity. I had never met Brent Everett and he has been the #1 most downloaded porn star on my site for the past two years in a row.
I was put up at a kick ass hotel called Park Manor Suites. (There was a piano bar attached to the building. Naturally, I loved it!) I was given a room the size of a freaking apartment, full kitchen and dining area, with a box of chocolates from Steve and Nicholas waiting on the table for me to boot! Clearly, these two knew their shit from the get go, enough to know that the way to a stellar performance is to treat your talent like royalty. I felt very "taken care of" by Steve and Nicholas throughout the weekend, moreso than any event or people I've worked with this year so far. They get the prize for best caretakers! (Now if I had done an event with Brandon Baker this year, it would've probably been him, so don't take offense Brandon. You just need to book my ass more often! LOL)
At dinner, I met a gaggle of people whose names I can't recall (I'm really bad with that!) except for our "security" for the evening, a hot ass marine named Josh who was tall and muscular and straight. I proceeded to tease the fuck out of him the entire weekend and promised him next time I would come back with some hot porn pussy for him. The girls would seriously cream over him. He's the one in the pic with the drag queen who looks a lil like Star Jones in the photo gallery from this weekend over on the "News Desk." Yeh, he was pretty kick ass and took the teasing well. ...But no, not that well.
That dinner is also where I met Brent Everett for the first time. I have to tell you, between he and Steve, I have rarely met such humble and grateful people in the porn business. Everett couldn't stop thanking me for all the press I'd given him over the years, sending traffic to his sites, giving him great reviews, etc. It was clear he'd studied up and read nearly everything I'd ever written about him. It was beyond flattering and might've even gotten me a little hard. I told him he had to stop thanking me and that with him being the most downloaded porn star on my site for two years in a row, I felt like I owed HIM a tremendous load of thanks. Maybe even some money, right?!
We went from my pre-party at Bourbon Street to Brent and Steve's pad (they have a freaking gorgeous house!) to Rich's for the evening's main event, all by limo where we proceeded to get completely shit faced off of everything from peach champagne to vodka and Squirt cocktails. I also got to know Brent a little better there. He confessed that he was terrified of meeting me in person, thinking I was going to get in his face and grill him with questions the second I saw him and for the duration of the weekend. I laughed and hugged him and told him that these are only things I would do in an interview, not over dinner or hanging out behind the scenes. As soon as his mind was set at ease, we ended up bonding and sharing quite a bit with each other. He is so much fun to be around and is actually quite shy and reserved behind the scenes. And fortunately, found everything that came out of my mouth to be utterly hilarious. Which, any comedian will tell you, immediately made him my new best friend.
It will never cease to amaze me how many people actually know of me the second I go outside of Los Angeles County. I had a few people come up to me at the club and tell me how much they love the site and a few who even cited my most recent "Diary" entry and how it affected them. This seems to happen everywhere except the city I live in where, since people see mainstream celebrities on a regular basis and gay porn stars at the gym every day, they could give two shits about spotting Jason Sechrest on a dance floor. If I lived in Kansas, I'd be a fucking rich man!
Angel Benton arrived later in the evening with our mutual friend, Cameron, who I had not seen in years. It was so good hanging out with him for the weekend and his presence, friendship and warmth really enhanced the experience for me. He is such a sweet guy! ...When he wants to be. ;-)
I managed to snag both Angel and Cameron all access VIP passes to everything for the weekend so he could cover it for Just Us Boys.
I opted not to go to the after hours party with them though. I headed back to my hotel and conked out pretty quickly after such a long day's driving and drinking. (Um... definitely not at the same time.)
The next day, I went to lunch with Angel and Cameron at a vegan cafe where Jayden Holloway works, whom we'd run into the night before at Rich's. Now anyone who knows me is well aware that health food is not my forte, but Angel had apparently promised Jayden that's where we'd be having lunch. I was considering stopping off for a Big Mac beforehand, but Angel had the bright idea to stop off at Rite-Aid and get us some vodka to pour into the cafe's fruit drinks.
Awesome idea!
He thought it would make Cameron and me easier to handle. ...He was wrong.
Cameron and I got plastered off of the strawberry-orange-ginger-Vodka drinks pretty quickly and became a little loud and obnoxious. We ordered a pizza that looked like beef jerky on a bed of lettuce and a pot roast that looked like a pizza. I hate vegan food, but I love Jayden Holloway.
I bolted to a nearby greek cafe for some saganaki and spanakopita immediately after exiting the joint.
The three of us then decided to stop by the house party that was going on, but arrived just as things were wrapping up. Fortunately, we were in time to run into Brent Corrigan and Grant Roy as they were leaving with one of their friends. It took me a few minutes before I realized the friend was Cameron Lane! We had spoken so many times online and it was so great to get to meet him in person. So adorable and well mannered!
Cameron and I finished what was left of the vodka at the house and played their grand piano. Who needs a crowd for a party anyway?
We ran back to our respective hotels where I slept and sobered up before hitting the night's main event at Club Montage where Brent Everett was performing. The venue and the party itself was amazing, but I couldn't stay up all night or drink there as I had to be back in West Hollywood the next day for my gig singing at Eleven Lounge. The smoke in there wasn't going to be doing my voice any good either.
I love to party! But I also know when to stop. I quietly slipped out.
I can't wait to hang out with Brent and Steve more though. They are cool peeps and I can't wait to get to know them better when they come to L.A. for some of my events in November.
For a full photo gallery and more "newsworthy" items from the weekend, visit the "News Desk."
From a wounded fetus To a full grown man With all his arms and legs.
From a brother to a lover To a rhyme that so endears. All chains made to be broken Bounding liberty in fear.
These shackles, they remain to remind. But with you on your cloud and me on mine.
It's been a long, long road From that home where boys learned how they would see The world through their own lens; How I'd see you, my friend And hope that I see you again.
He came to one of the singer showcases I'm in at Eleven Lounge in West Hollywood tonight. Technically, last night as it is now 2:00 in the morning, but I had to blog this before bed.
He was totally gracious and sweet to everyone who crowded him, asking for cell phone photos, autographs, the works. The second I saw him walk through the door, I ran up to the person who was supposed to perform next and said, "You're not going. I'm going next. Just trust me. I need to do this."
I introduced him from the stage and I think he was quite grateful that instead of calling him "Britney Boy" or mentioning the "Leave Britney Alone!" video, I instead opted for, "From Earl Edna Annie to The Liberty Bell skits, one of the greatest improvisational actors of my generation is in the audience tonight. Please give it up for Chris Crocker."
I proceeded to rock the fuck out of No Doubt's "Excuse Me Mr." for the first time with full band -- piano, guitar, drums and sax. It was the first time I have been able to reach the level of "out of body" performance while singing in front of an audience like I usually do with acting. Such a high. Total rush.
You see, when I watch Chris Crocker's videos he reminds me of myself at 16 years old. He's completely fearless. But he is fearless because, at home with a camcorder and his grandma, he has nothing to lose. The town despises him for being different. He's already pissed off people on the Internet. Why not be anything but yourself under those conditions and refuse to apologize?
But when you become a performer for a living, you love whatever small or large amount of success you've had and you want to continue it, you don't want to do anything to fuck it up. So you become scared of losing it and all fearlessness goes out the window.
But seeing Chris Crocker watch me perform tonight inspired me to be totally fearless up there. It was pretty kick ass and I'm really glad he was there. It was a really magical moment. Totally took me to a new level of performance.
Paul recorded the entire thing so as soon as he posts it to his YouTube blog, I will post it here. A lot of really great people were in the audience tonight from some of my favorite regulars like Ernie and Paul to my webmistress, Susie G. and porn star Michael Soldier.
It was an incredible turn out for being only week two and I'm grateful to be a part of such a great event going on every other Sunday at Eleven Lounge. See you all again on the 4th!
I'll also be returning to performing every Friday night from 9:00 pm - 1:00 am at The Other Side piano bar in Silverlake this week after having taken half a month off! Hope to see familiar faces and new ones there.
I guess I'm not that far. I'm at the point of no return. Just watch me burn.
Song: "Let It Will Be" (Live) - Madonna, Confessions Tour
I had so many blogs I wanted to post here this week. I have an entire written list of things I want to talk about! But between the JasonCurious.com updates, the KSEX show, the singing showcases, the PR clients (not in this particular order, don't stop payment!) and the hosting gigs, something always manages to fall through the cracks.
Actually, that's what I wanted to talk about. The cracks. And no, not those kind, Dirty.
Hmm... let me see if I can sum this one up before I head out to MJ's to host The Porno Palace tonight with my very special guest, Cole Ryder, from 10:00 pm - 1:00 am, where I hope to see some of you there! ;-)
Oh! And tomorrow morning I'll be getting up bright and early to head to San Diego to host the launch party for the three-day event, The Crucible. It will be kick off at Bourbon Street at 6:00 pm tomorrow night. If you're in the area, come grab some free porn, watch some hot drag performances and see me interview Brent Everett live on stage.
I'll be in San Diego for most of the Crucible events until Sunday when I come back to West Hollywood to perform live in a showcase of incredibly talented singers with a full band at Eleven Lounge from 8:00 pm to close! So if you care to see me minus the porn peeps, see you there too!
Yeah, about those cracks...
About the things that don't get done...
That used to really bother me a lot, to the point that I would feel like shit about myself if I proved for one day that I wasn't superhuman. And these days, I kind of like knowing I'm made of flesh and blood instead of plastic.
And it's not just in me. It's in all of life that I am finding so much beauty in flaws.
This is quite a culture shock for someone who grew up dreaming of dating models, going to expensive places to eat every night, life being one constant party of glitz, glamour and perfection.
Last month when I had that awful cold, I went on a picnic with the guy I'm dating. I had snot running down my nose, I was wearing no makeup, I was feeling at my absolute worst -- and I realized in that moment, that because it really forced me to get out of my comfort zone (and because of the awesome company I was with *wink*), I probably hadn't been happier all damned year.
How then, if perfection equaled happiness, could I be happier than I'd ever been with a fever, a cold, snot, feeling ugly and fat? How was that possible?
Let me tell you, it shattered all the illusions in that one second. Poof! The pressure was off to try to "create" the perfect moments. From that point forward to right now as I write this, in fact.
I think a lot of us assume that the closer we get to perfection in our lives, careers and relationships means the closer we get to true happiness and ultimate fulfillment. But what if it's not? What if us getting closer to perfection only means we're getting closer to perfection?
"So why strive to be better?" a friend asked me recently upon this revelation.
I explained, you strive to be better because you want to be better. Not because you think it will make you happier. At least, I don't. Not anymore.
Better is just better. Closer is just closer. None of it equates happiness.
It's the cracks in life that make me happy. The days where I'm forced in the grip of unexpected circumstances to let go of the steering wheel and find that elusive intersection between life's ups and downs where truth lies in a gorgeous shade of gray.
Before you think I've gone all nutty on you, I have to say I don't expect your outlook to be the same. One thing you have to understand is how many hours of my day is spent creating and living in a fantasy. Through my work in adult entertainment, through the picture that I paint for an audience when I sing a song, to the characters I create when I act, so much of my world is spent in a glamorous fantasy world that flawed reality has become so beautiful to me. It humbles me and reminds me of my humanity.
Walks in the park with Sadie, time spent with my family, reading a good book, talking on the phone with my friends... these are the things I force myself to make time for now. Running on auto-pilot from job to job getting only four hours of sleep a night brought me closer to perfection, but never closer to happiness. Ironically, it is what most would consider the mundane, the boring things in life that really ground us in the present moment and make us smile the most genuine of smiles.
A lot of people come here to live vicariously through me because they think my life is so exciting and I'm sure that it is.
But so is your's.
If you only knew.
Trip the station. Change the channel.
Song of the Week: "Hollywood" - Madonna, American Life
With the exception of a select few who I've been close with for many years, here is the best described honest truth of what it's like hanging out with most of my "porn star friends."
"We are friends in the celebrity kind of way. You know and respect each other. You have dinner every few months. You don't chat on the phone, but there is an undeniable association, a shared intimacy that paradoxically lacks all intimacy. You are members of an exclusive club where everyone speaks a language very few others have been able to attain or understand." - Rosie O'Donnell's new book, Celebrity Detox
The thought of going to lunch with him every day, throwing paper airplanes at his desk, being his secret Santa, etc. was enough to make me consider taking a desk job and having a real boss for the first time in seven years.
Then I heard he's not going to be sharing an office with them much longer and immediately lost all interest.
I devoted an entire half-hour to this on The Jason Sechrest Show yesterday and ran the entire YouTube clip of us fighting (and the one of him throwing up that I won't gross you out with here, but you can find it if you do a search).
Apparently, there are few things I wouldn't do to spend every day with Brandon Baker. And why not? Every day is a holiday with him!
What's the deal with comment approval on the "News Desk"? New rules? No negative posts? - Anonymous
Negative posts are fine, spew your vitriol all you want, but the rule is you have to contribute something. You can't just say some porn star is a loser or some movie was a piece of crap. Tell me why you think he's a loser or why you think it's a piece of crap and your comment will be posted.
Why didn't you ever do porn? - Stevie Rulz
For one thing, I've never really thought a mass quantity of people would be interested in watching me have sex. But overall, being on so many sets, I just saw how hard the work was (no pun intended) and how unglamorous it is and how very, very little it pays compared to all other jobs in the industry. I was making more money than they were so I felt like it would be a step backwards. There was a period of time when I first started that I was very torn about that decision though. I would wonder on a daily basis if that was supposed to be my path because I got a lot of offers and knew I really wanted the fame back then. Not doing it though is probably one of the best decisions I ever made. It's not something you live down. Going on auditions or singing at nightclubs and getting recognized as the boy who interviews them for a living is hard enough for people to see past.
I have to thankyou, it was onjasoncurious.com that i furst discovered Seth Dickens, what a hottie. Great site, Rosco. - Rosco
Yes! Aka Cameron Sage! Well then I'll have to thank David Forest for introducing me to him! I haven't seen him in forever, but always enjoyed interviewing him and hanging out with him.
i'm in a really bad financial place right now -- really bad. i would never do porn because im an actor but im seriously thinking about escorting. do you know how i could escort very discreetly? - Anonymous
thinking about you, reading your sites, watching your clips... can become very time consuming.... lol... i really dont get it... what is it about you???? - ALEX.
I saved this one just to be able to read it again later when I was doing the "ASK" post today. Wasn't going to post it but I think I will. Balances out the negative. So sweet and so need to hear things like that to keep me going, Alex. As long as you're entertained, I'll continue being an entertainer.
So i know you're Mr. Celebrity an' all, but do your friends even KNOW how talented you are when it comes to scooping ice cream? I'm jus' askin'... - Tessa
LOL!!! Tessa! Here's to the TCBY posse from Sarasota, Florida. I was, what? 16? Do you remember that hot guy who used to work there with us? With the long hair? He used to show me his pubes when I asked him to and I think he let me touch his nipple once. That was about all the action I was getting back then. Do you have any idea how much ice cream I would eat on a daily basis there? And I always stole the gummy bears! I would take home like 5 pound bags of gummy bears. Insanity.
What happened to the Chris Crocker nude pics you had posted on yoru site? - Anonymous
Chris posted a message saying they were taken when he was 17. I got an email from someone claiming to be the photographer of those photos who tells me it's not true and he would never shoot someone who was 17 or else he'd be in jail right now for having taken them and that would be the real news story. Also, a mutual friend tells me it is something Crocker's manager cooked up. I don't really know or care. Bottom line is that Chris seems to want them to disappear and I am a HUGE fan of his so I pulled them as soon as I read his post. I was also very careful, just because of his Internet celebrity, to not post them in our member's section because I didn't want anyone to think we were making money off of his images. I only posted them in the free blog feed.
Why are you so egotistical to think anyone cares about your crush on [straight male porn star] Mikey Butders? This is breaking news because? - Anonymous.
I didn't think anyone cared actually but hours after I mentioned how much I loved him on my show, it became a headline on AdultFYI.com and tons of sites took it from there and made it a headline on their own. So, somebody cares. *shrugs* Some people are coming to my JasonCurious.com site to see "Jason" and live vicariously through him and his odd job. Some are coming just for the porn star news and interviews and could care less about me. It's not a difficult concept to get your head around. But again, the site is called JasonCurious.com, not "Porn Star Whatever The Hell." If you're not curious about Jason and his life, you probably shouldn't be there. That's what my site has been about since 2001. Me. And my life working with the porn peeps. There's plenty of other sites out there for you to just get the news of the porn world told to ya straight.
Wow, an objective review on this website that is not ass kissing? You must have been dissed by Collin O'Neal. - Anonymous.
Oh, Anonymous. I've never met or even spoken to Collin. I just didn't like his movie. I have praised movies on my site by people who have fucked me over. I have slammed movies that were directed by some of my best friends. Hell, I've even slammed movies from companies I was working as a publicist for at the time! I have a core group of people who, when I say a movie is good, all purchase the movie through the affiliate links we provide. In order to continue having that group trust me and in order to keep it growing, it's not something I can let "personality politics" interfere with. Not that there were any between me and Collin to begin with. I know nothing about him really and have never even exchanged an email with the guy. I'm sure he's very cool.
your myspace says there's too much clinging to peak. peak? what does you mean? - Steve.
It's from the Bjork song I posted last week so I didn't write it but for me it means that we put too much pressure on ourselves to create perfection, for every moment to be a highlight.
Oh, Jason. Jason, Jason, Jason.You've finally done it. You were pushing it anyway with your vicarious living through pornstars because you couldn't or refused to find real love or contentment in life. You were pushing it anyway by years of sexploits with random hookups and pornstars, gloating about it - and then shifting 180 to social and political commentary....as if anyone would take you seriously after years of drunken hookups.You were pushing it anyway by being 'host' for monthly commentators that mysteriously disappeared, as did many of your 'clients,' probably for mixing business with pleasure.You were pushing it anyway by trying to be a singer/actor and being the typical little fag in pushing the 'divas.'But now you've finally crossed that line.Chris Crocker has talent?Are you fucking kidding me?This attention grabbing drama queen has talent?Oh. Wait. Sounds a lot like a web host.You've lost all credibility.I know....leave Britney alone. Give me a break. - Anonymous.
Chris Crocker has proven through a year of YouTube ( www.youtube.com/itschriscrocker/ ) and MySpace ( www.myspace.com/itschriscrocker/ ) clips that he is a hilarious comedian and a talented actor. So I've lost all credibility because he makes me laugh? Wow. Well, personally, considering your narrow-mindedness, your cred-approval is not one that I was really seeking to begin with.
I would hope to God that in ten years, one's priorities change and they grow as a person, becoming more socially, politically and spiritually conscious. It's called a "slut phase" for a reason. It's usually just a phase in a person's life. I let all of myself be exposed when I started this "Diary" at the JasonCurious site. The good, the bad and the ugly. Everything from good samaritan acts to messy drunken rages. While I don't get into the specifics of my personal life anymore, I continue to own every step, every mistake, every low and every high.
People tend to put labels on others: "He's the funny one." "He's the whore." "He's so at peace." Unfortunately, because we are often so desperate to define ourselves, we take those labels and wear them to the point that we forget there are other sides of ourselves, other talents, other colors that exist. Or even if we know that our friends love us because of who we are and how we act with them, we then feel like we can't change who we are or how we behave for fear that they will think we're acting "weird" or maybe not agree with us or get along with us as well. It in turn stunts your personal growth.
The idea that someone can be open about their sexual exploits or working in adult entertainment and still be politically active, spiritually aware, a talented actor/singer/host, in touch with God, etc. is something that I have really enjoyed exposing people to. About a year ago, I started refusing to just play the "role" that a lot of people wanted me to play. I tore off the label and without it was forced to find myself. What I found was incredibly complex and multi-dimensional and it has evoked a multitude of reactions, like this one for example.
Ironically, Chris Crocker has found the same happening to him lately according to his latest written MySpace blog. Coming to Hollywood for business meetings about his own TV show, he found he was being asked to play a "role" for a reality series instead of being allowed to be himself. Even in interviews, they wanted him to play "crazy" or be "the Britney boy." What's so amazing about Chris is that at 19 years old, he already has such a strong sense of self that he refuses to do that.
So to you, I'm sorry that in your jealous haze you see my past posts as gloating, but dude... I'm just living my life. I've been documenting my life, career and personal growth for the past several years. Exposing my readers to the many different sides of myself has clearly gotten under your skin. Ask yourself why. I would suggest taking off whatever label you've been given today. Learn to start defining yourself as you truly are and not how people see you. You can do it too, ya know?
Special thanks to Paul, a big supporter of The Other Side for taking these clips and posting them.
* REMINDER: I'm performing every Friday night at The Other Side with an ton of talented singers from 9:00 pm - 1:00 am. ... And this Sunday at 9:00 pm, I'll be performing a few numbers with a FULL BAND at the new show, Live at Eleven located at Eleven Lounge & Restaurant in West Hollywood. Hope to see you at one of the shows! ;-)
I took to San Diego last weekend to host the pre-party for a three-day event called The Crucible. I'm not sure if we were fighting for Don't Ask, Don't Tell or fighting against it. (I think I'm for it. ;-) ) But regardless, it was a weekend of military men and gay porn stars so hell, it seemed right up my alley. Naturally, when I was contacted by Brent Everett's main man, Steve Pena and his business partner, Nicholas Di Simas to come out and be a part of it, I jumped at the opportunity. I had never met Brent Everett and he has been the #1 most downloaded porn star on my site for the past two years in a row.
