Friends and Movies

Going out of town for grandpa's funeral was not an easy task.

With four local shows and a web TV show that had just launched the week before, there was a lot of rescheduling, pre-taping and cancelling I had to figure out and get done before heading out of town -- and then a bunch of "catch up" work that had to be done as soon as I returned. I've got to say though, I'm so glad I went. Every single cousin from that side of my family was there and at 28 years old, I am the oldest with the next oldest being 21 and the youngest being 13. We're all growing up so fast and I hope that our time together there can inspire us to keep in better touch with each other. It's so strange how we can barely know each other but speak the same language. We were all raised around that witty banter with a need to make other people laugh so having us all sit at a table together was just one non-stop laugh riot. After the parents went to bed, I talked them all into going to see The Dark Knight with me since it had just opened that night. We went to a midnight show and we were all so glad we did. It's the biggest movie of the year and we'll never forget how we all saw it together.

When I got back to L.A., I caught up on office work for a couple of days and then went to see The Dark Knight again, this time with Brandon Baker in IMAX. (The movie was in IMAX. Not Brandon. Although at times... !) Brandon and I both have an affinity for Batman and I knew I loved the movie so much I would want to see it again with him. It was quite an experience seeing it in IMAX with Brandon! But I don't know if it was more of an experience seeing it IMAX or seeing it with Brandon. ;-) ...Instead of The Dark Knight: The IMAX Experience, let's just call it The Dark Knight: The Brandon Baker Experience. I want to go see Journey to the Center of the Earth in 3-D with The Brandon Baker Experience too!

Brandon was kind of my own dark knight in shining Abercrombie for the week actually. We ended up hanging out at Here Lounge the following night for my Porn Star of the Week show (every Wednesday from 10 pm - 1 am, people!) and then he pulled out all stops and brought his posse to my Porn Star Alley happy hour show at MJ's on Thursday from 6:30 pm - 9:00 pm. A week or so ago he'd finally gotten around to seeing the video I'd posted on my JasonCurious YouTube vlog asking him to come out and rack up a big bar tab to save my Thursday night show. Well, Brandon did just that. It also happened to be one of our busiest nights ever. And if I can match the numbers we did that evening one more time, that show is as good as gold.

As if that wasn't enough, I also stopped by his RentBoy.com night at Hamburger Mary's on Friday, albiet briefly. Everyone was surprisingly tired (exhausted, even!) and called it an evening much earlier than usual.

So four days in a row with Brandon. ...And we didn't even try to kill each other! I seriously adore him and am fascinated by him at times. He lives a very wild life, but is also extremely responsible, has incredible work ethic and can be one of the most selfless people I know. I have put him through some shit too and he is still always there for me. He has over time gotten close to a side of me that few people get to see, making him one of my best friends. I feel incredibly comfortable being my full uninhibited self around him and we can only say that for a few people in our lives.

Speaking of those few best friends I can only count on one hand, I hung out with Chi Chi LaRue this week and it is so nice having her back in town. We had dinner with Howard Marr from FabScout at that new place Felix in West Hollywood on Wednesday night and the food there is freaking amazing! I'm not usually a fan of "dim sum" at all -- but all of those apps are freaking to die for. Mouth watering! I can't wait to go back!

Then saw Momma Mia: The Chi Chi LaRue Experience on Saturday at ArcLight. (Did you know the space between the very front row and the screen there is so wide that it's perfect? You don't have to strain your neck or anything to look up and it's like you're in Michael Jackson's living room or something! I always thought the front row there would be way too close, but not so much!) Had no interest in seeing it really because, to me, the beauty of ABBA's music is the amazing harmony of their voices. So I never saw Momma Mia on stage as I was never so keen on hearing other people sing their songs. But I figure, Meryl Streep is seriously the best actress who has ever walked the face of the earth (I am convinced she could play a five year old black boy) and I could be entertained watching her read the phone book. Sure enough, she is amazing in it, but the movie itself really surpassed my expecations. And though it's just a cute, cheesy movie, Meryl's performance of "The Winner Takes It All" will go down as one of the Top 25 moments in movie musical history.

I'm excited to work with Chi Chi again this week at Here Lounge. I'll be hosting Porn Star of the Week there from 10:00 pm - 1:00 am featuring the brand new Rascal Exclusive, Vance Winter in his first L.A. appearance with Chi Chi spinning the tunes! I hear there's a booth reserved for the cast of Big Brother, current season and past seasons too so Big Brother fans should be sure to be there. But shh! Don't tell anyone I'm helping you stalk them!



So as you can see, I'm just gearing up for another big week here and it all starts tonight. I'm a Special Guest Judge at Here Lounge's fun drag show Where's Jackie? tonight so if you're out and about, stop by and say hi. The show starts at 10:00 pm.

While I Was Out...

This update is going to be huge because I've been so swamped with four shows a week (plus a new web show now!) and updating you all on my hectic work life over in the "News Desk" blog, I haven't had a chance to talk much about my personal life over here. So I'm going to divide this into sections and you can read what you're interested in -- or perhaps little by little over the course of a few days. It took me over a month to live it so it'll probably take you a long time to read it.


I MISS CHI CHI

I don't know how it happened but Girl has really become one of my closest friends this year and she has been travelling non-stop for over a month now. I wish she'd hurry home and stay put for one second. Let's face it. Life is always more fun when Chi Chi LaRue is in the same town as you. She's like my local mother/father/brother/sister/lover/friend/mentor/fairy-godmother/twin .....and DJ!


SADIE'S OKAY!

My dog's cancer is benign. She will have to be checked regularly but it seems the tumor is going away on its own. I have to thank you all for your positive thoughts and well wishes. THEY WORKED!


EXPERIMENTATION

I'm kind of in an experimental phase these days. Nothing too hardcore, I'm not like climbing into K holes and smoking crack or meth or anything! (Not that I judge those who do! I'm sure I'll be there in a few years. See you at Promises!) But I did try ecstasy recently for the first time and wow, that was an experience. I became best friends with a fork that I rubbed on my head the entire evening and regularly splashed water on my face while screaming, "I'm a fish! I'm a fish!" Working so many nights out in West Hollywood a week means that to promote those nights I often need to go socialize on the evenings I'm not actually working, so there really is no better time to have an experimental phase if I'm going to have one. I mean, I'm out every freakin' night! And you don't want to be doing them when you're nobody and you're going to get kicked out of a club. You want to be doing them when the club has reserved you your own bathroom for the evening.


JANE FONDA RULES

I am almost through Jane Fonda's autobiography, My Life So Far. Has anyone else read this? It's amazing how much I have in common with 60 year old women! Their introspection, their catharsis, their looking back to right the wrongs in moving forward. What I've learned from Hanoy Jane is that the need for perfection and the fear of rejection are two things that will always hold you back from progressing in your life until you usher them to the door. Reading her book has helped me with that immensely. I don't feel the "disease to please" on a regular basis these days and that's a first in my life.


CYNDI LAUPER ROCKS

I can't stop listening to "Into the Nightlife." I have the song on repeat ad nauseum. No matter what kind of mood I'm in, it gets me swinging my arms around and banging my head in the air.


MY GRANDPA DIED

My grandfather passed away this weekend and I will be cancelling a few shows to be with my family in Florida for the funeral, burial and wake from Thursday morning through Saturday late evening. I was not best friends with him like I was with my grandmother, but we were very close and he was a wonderful grandfather and such a warm, funny, loving human being.

I'm so lucky that my last conversation with him over Thanksgiving dinner is probably the best conversation I've ever had with him and will remain my fondest memory. I told I was always hearing people his age say, "If I only knew then what I know now..." and told him I wanted to know what it was he knows now! He gave me a lot of good advice, namely financial, that I really needed to hear. But more than that, he gave me praise for having my priorities in the right place. He said I already realized at my age what takes most people many years to discover: That you have to be true to yourself. "You're doing what you want to do with your life and your career and that's what it's all about. You have to live the way you feel is right," he said, and concluded in front of everyone, "and love whoever you want to love."

Wow. That was a big deal. For him and for me.


MUST-SEE YOU TUBE LINKS!

If you're missing Kathy Griffin's My Life on the D-List, you can catch all the episodes from the new season here. Thank God for this man!
http://youtube.com/user/vgxuk

Also, between these two users I think they have every episode from all three seasons of the old 60's Batman TV show online -- which I am LOVING!
http://youtube.com/user/FanOfBats
http://youtube.com/user/goodguysbadguys

I added my rendition of the Madonna song "Live to Tell" to the Live From The Other Side playlist on my Jason Sechrest YouTube account.
http://youtube.com/watch?v=VOXoZ7A2Tj4

I also have a new vlog up on my Jason Curious YouTube account where I'm begging people to come to the shows of mine that aren't pulling in big numbers. I love that people either totally got this and thought it was hilarious or thought I was insane and didn't understand why I would beg publicly. It's like a commercial. A marketing tactic. I actually got the idea from Kathy Griffin. In fact, I've decided when it comes to many aspects of my life, my new motto is, "What would Kathy do?" When her sales are low, she goes on some show and says, "I'm so D-List there are like 25 people coming to my show at the Pechanga Casino. If you don't come see me, it's back to Hollywood Squares." Fortunately, it worked. One of the shows that I mentioned has already made the 100 mark and is definitely staying alive. One down, one to go and hey, remember the promise I made if we make it?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a7OLxvVlqt4


MY LOVE LIFE

I am writing this first but already know that I'll put it as the last to be read.

I'm dating a few people right now, but the one I've been dating the longest I seem to have fallen for pretty hard. Unfortunately, he fluxuates from telling me it's the most mature form of dating he's ever had to telling me that we're actually not dating at all. It was kind of funny, a running joke at first; now it's just sad. I also am either the most entertaining person he's ever met or the most annoying, depending on the unpredictability of his mood. It was tolerable at first; now it's just starting to hurt.

It is a shame because there's no one else I laugh with as much as he. In many ways, he is like my ex-boyfriend. In some ways -- the laughter, the best friendship, the similar interests -- that's exactly what I'm still looking for. But in other ways -- the bi-polar nature, the inability to commit and the thriving on the power of keeping a person in a perpetual state of limbo -- yeah, I'm not looking to crawl back into that special circle of Hell anytime soon despite the fact that my spot always seems reserved there. And it is no doubt fault of my own. I don't delude myself into thinking it's coincidence that I've yet again attracted the same type of person into my life.

While we understand each other in so many ways that other people don't or have problems dealing with, if one can't understand or deal with themselves first, it's all pretty much unfortunately for not.

Anyone who reads my KabbalahCurious.com blog (also desperately in need of an update - look for that later today too I hope) knows I'm a big advocate of spiritual study, taking notes on what you learn and then meditating upon those notes every day until those thoughts are engrained in you and it becomes a way of life. One of the things I wrote down recently is how in order to make relationships work, from friendships to co-workers to lovers, we have to focus on the things we appreciate about that person, as opposed to complaining about what we don't like about them. Negative thoughts and energy only create more negativity so when we complain about those things, that's all we get because it's all that we're choosing to see.

I mentioned before, I don't laugh with anyone as much as I do this person and I think it would be stupid of me to throw such a great friendship like that away. I should accept the limitations of the situation, focus on what I love about the person and keep it a friendship. This probably sounds like common sense to most of you, but for those of us who are used to having it be our way or the highway, you need a little dose of spirituality to get the common sense through a skull so thick.

And this also goes back to what I was saying previously in this entry about how the "need for perfection" is so toxic. My motto lately -- and something I read every morning when I awaken -- has been: "Compromise can be made while still maintaining the integrity of the original vision."

Maybe, here too the integrity of the original vision can be salvaged in a great friendship.

And that, my friends, would certainly be different -- and a much more mature approach -- than what happened with the last best friend I fell in love with.


Do you go to dungeon
To find out how to make peace with your days in the dungeon?

Writing a letter to you
Doesn't make me feel any more peaceful than how I feel when we're not speaking.
'Cause I didn't cop to what I did.

I can't love you 'cause we're supposed to have professional boundaries.
But I'd like you to be schooled and in awe
As though you were kissed by God, full on the lips.

I'm in the front row with popcorn.
I get to see you close up.

Slid into the ditch.
We have this overwhelming loss of ambition
So we say, "Let's name 30 good reasons
Why we shouldn't be together."
Start out by saying things like, "You smoke."
"You live in New Jersey."

I started saying things like,
"You belong to the world."
All of which could've been easily refuted.

But the conversation was hypothetical.
I am totally sure.
Just a breath for you.
Why can't you shut your stuff off?

I'm in the front row with popcorn.
I get to see you close up.

For a while I am speaking.
You know how much I hate to be interrupted.
Maybe spend some time alone,
Fill up my proverbial cup so
That it does not always have to be about me.

But I'm just wanting your undivided attention.

Are we not burdened by the lack of perspective
People have of our charmed lives seemingly?

I'm in the front row with popcorn.
I get to see you close up.

Hey I'm not mad at you guardian.
I'm mad at myself for spending so much time with you
In your Jekyll and Hydeness.

I'm glad I figuratively slapped you on the wrist.

You laughed a wicked laugh and said,
"Come here, let me clip your wings."

"Raise the roof," he yelled.
"Yeah, raise the roof," I yelled back.

No thanks to the soap box.

I'm in the front row with popcorn.
I get to see you close up.

You never meant to be ungrateful
Nor held up to be whipped or wept for,
And certainly not analyzed or proded at.

And certainly you'll need a health scare to reprioritize.

I think we should be careful of how much time we spend together.

- Alanis Morissette