The Not So Private (But Still Personal) Diary of Jason Sechrest Host/Publicist/Manager/Journalist/Actor/Singer/Director/Web Entrepreneur/Liza Minnelli.
Monday, May 28, 2007
I Hear My Voice
The performance of All That Jaws went, well, swimmingly!
The Out of Bounds Improv Festival was the perfect place to give a "sneak preview" of the show. Lots of theaters attended and expressed interest in debuting the show, from hole in the wall venues in the valley to major stages like The Ahmanson.
My character stole the show, but I don't think it's something I can really take a lot of credit for. The character is just so "out there" and dynamic that it's, again to draw the comparison, a lot like watching Tim Curry in Rocky Horror. When he's not on the screen, you're really just waiting for the next time he shows up. I hope to have photos and maybe a video clip posted soon.
Next up we're going to record a cast album at the studios in Wrightwood and then it will be a lot of staging, choreography and tech before our first full run, wherever that may be, in the late Summer. I'll keep you posted at my mainstream site: www.JasonSechrest.com
I also had a week packed full of auditions and even a few callbacks inbetween back-to-back rehearsals for the show so I was grateful for the three-day weekend to be able to hang out with friends, sleep in and just breathe.
But I must confess, now after the three-day weekend, I am anxious to jump right back into it.
Looking back, the majority of my month was spent reading scripts and plays, going on auditions and callbacks, working in acting class, rehearsing, performing in my acting showcase, performing stand-up... just being your stereotypical up and coming Hollywood performer.
And I've never felt more alive.
My friends have noticed. Someone said to me this week, "Even when you're talking about bombing on an audition or not getting a role that you may have wanted, you're still full of more life than you are any other time."
Part of that is because it's finally become fun. I credit that to finding my voice and I mean that in every sense of the term. I think that, for so long, I was so afraid of being me, both in my personal life and on stage. There's so many great artists out there, I felt like how could I compare? I would rather watch them than watch me, right?! So when singing a Liza song, I had to sing it like Liza. When singing a Tori song, I had to sing it like Tori. When hosting a crazy show, I wanted to host it like Jimminy Glick. I am always so inspired by other artists, but there's a big difference between being inspired and putting on clothes that don't belong to you -- and they usually won't fit your body so perfectly.
The same goes for people's beliefs and opinions that, as I mentioned in an earlier May entry, I came to accept I'd been applying like tattoos to myself from as far back as I can remember. I have excellent instincts and a very good sense of who I am and what I believe, but until now I have always looked to other people to confirm it for some reason. And unfortunately, as we all know, not everyone always has your best interest at heart and they're not always on your side.
I just never had enough faith in myself to let go and be me until now and that has changed everything. It's changed my singing voice, as it is now my own for the first time. It's changed the way I approach characters in acting, as they all come through me. And it's changed me just as a human being. There's not as much effort, you know? Doesn't always have to be "on." And I am finding people like it and relate to it, connect to it, a lot more. That's really important to me these days too.
With the mass library of Tori Amos songs I love and adore, I never thought in a million years something as standard as her staple, "Silent All These Years," would be my song of the week. But I hear it with new ears these days. I feel like I'm living the song.
Little story about the song and why it's making me cry like a baby these days...
She wasn't always Tori Amos. Back in the late 1980's, she allowed record companies to talk her into ditching the piano altogether in exchange for some slutty clothes and a guitar-driven band called Y Kan't Tori Read. The leather-clad rock chick with big hair was really "in" that year, you know? Well, let's face it: Sex is always in. It's just what's considered "sexy" that changes. And so, in a desperate search for fame and acceptance, she took what they gave her and wore their character as best she could.
But it wasn't her and the popularity never skyrocketed because of it. "You can't be something you're not," she said, reflecting on it a few years ago. "You just can't. That's all there is to it. You will only go so far."
"Silent All These Years" was one of the first songs she wrote for her debut album as Tori Amos and when I decided I wanted it to be my song of the week, I looked up how old she was when all of this happened to her. I assumed maybe 20 or 21. You know, most artists launch their careers very young.
I got chills when I did the math and discovered she was exactly my age, 27 years old, when she finally found her voice, wrote this song and launched the career she was destined for and has had ever since.
27 years old when she finally just sat down for a second and sang, "Yeah I can hear that... but sometimes, I hear my voice... I hear my voice... "
"ALL THAT JAWS" A New Rock Opera - Starring Jason Sechrest
Be the FIRST to see it as a staged reading with live orchestra at: THE OUT OF BOUNDS IMPROV FESTIVAL @ The Westside Eclectic Theater 1323-A Third Street Promenade - Santa Monica, CA 90401
TICKETS ONLY $10.00! CLICK HERE PURCHASE! * Choose the May 26th Midnight option for our show!
I have been so swamped with rehearsals I haven't had much time to update the "Diary" in the last few days, but I wanted to make sure to touch on something that has been bugging me a great deal.
I can't tell you the amount of forums I've visited that have sung "Ding, dong, the witch is dead!" rejoicing over the death of Jerry Fallwell. From gay message boards to adult entertainment forums, it seems to be a resounding sentiment among any group of people who he directly targeted with his verbal attacks throughout his life. Some people seem to be taking so much pleasure in his death and in his family's loss.
"Well, he spread so much hatred!" they say.
To which I want to say, "Well what do you think you're doing?"
How are we any better than he if we're rejoicing in the man's death and the family's suffering? How hypocritical can we possibly be? Now is the time for us, as a community, to offer our love, our support and our condolances; not to stoop to someone else's level merely because they behaved that way in their lifetime. That's like an oxymoron of sorts, isn't it? It's like calling something a "war against terror" when war is terror. It makes no sense and only makes you a hypocrite.
When I saw Barbra Streisand in concert last year, she quoted this beautiful foreward from William Saroyan's play, In the Time of Your Life. Saroyan wrote:
"In the time of your life, live. Seek goodness everywhere and when it is found, bring it out of its hiding place and let it be free and unashamed. Discover in all things, that which shines and is beyond corruption. Be the inferior of no man or of any man be superior. Remember that every man is a variation of yourself. In the time of your life, live so that in that wonderous time you shall not add to the misery and sorrow of the world, but shall smile to the infinite delight and mystery of it."
Just more words to live by.
Song of the Week: "The Time of Your Life (Saroyan Foreward)/A Cockeyed Optimist" Barbra Streisand - Streisand Live in Concert 2006
A few hours after the web site debacle/vision on Tuesday, I booked a lead role workshopping a brand new musical called All That Jaws that combines my two favorite genres: horror and musical! The production is campy local midnight show fodder, the script is hilarious, the music is brilliant and it's a role I was born to play.
The story of All That Jaws portrays The Shark, yours truly, as desperate for acceptance, misunderstood and wanting to make friends. Of course, his only way of reaching out is with his mouth and therefore everytime he tries to make a new friend, he ends up killing them. As a concept, the character was written as a cross between Joel Grey as The Emcee in Cabaret and Tim Curry as Frank 'N Furter in The Rocky Horror Picture Show.
The first performance will be a staged reading with full band at The Out of Bounds West Comedy Festival in Santa Monica, California at the stroke of midnight on Friday, May 25th. (To be clear, that's 11:59 pm on Friday, not Saturday.) There is a possibility of a Saturday midnight performance too if Friday sells out.
They are hoping to open the full show itself sometime this June. I'll keep you posted.
This means I have two weeks to learn an entire musical, script and score. Back to back rehearsals starting Tuesday. I feel like Liza going into Chicago. I work so much better under pressure and long hours though (extremist to the end!) and I'm really greatful to be given the opportunity to finally do a musical in Los Angeles. It needed to be done to get the ball rolling in that direction for me right now because to be honest, until now I have been petrified of auditioning for musical theater!
I'm telling you guys about this before any newsletters or press releases, etc. The people who read my "Diary" have my heart, really. Some of you have been follwing the story of my life since 2001 and everyone's support, from new readership to old, especially your comments and emails, really have been what keeps me going.
Some say that I will and some say I won't. Victory is an elusive whore. She is as easily mine as she is yours. So I slip and slide my way through this charade. I know all the players and I must say, do this long enough you'll get a taste for it. A six pack of coke and a bottle of Jack. "Whatever you do," he says, "look after that. Being trusted and lusted, it could be worse than that."
So I'll do this last one, then I'll grow me some wine and leave them troubled boys all behind.
- Tori Amos, "Code Red"
My webmistress, Susie G., is currently out of the country taking her first vacation in the six years we've been working on this site. Naturally, it would be then that disaster strikes.
On Tuesday morning, I awakened to find several of my domain names had expired including JasonCurious.com. When last purchased, my contact info was an AOL email address that is no longer active, so their attempts to reach me directly were futile and they eventually took the site offline.
Now, for those of you who don't already know, I am completely in the dark when it comes to the technical aspect of my web site. I provide all of the content, I conceptualize the design and I oversee and approve all -- but I didn't build these sites nor do I know how to run them. And while I have perhaps in the past referred to having a "web team," it usually consists of the many people living in Susie's head. And thank God for her, really. She does the job of an entire staff and then some. She deserves this vacation.
Unfortunately, that means I had no idea who to call or what to do about getting my domain names back. I mean seriously, I was calling CC Bill here, that's how lame I am. Eventually, I found the company that we had purchased the domain names from. When I told them they had gone offline, the first thing they said was, "Okay, please hold while we check and make sure they are still available."
Still available?
Suddenly I was on hold and left alone with elevator music to ponder the idea that this could be the end of my web site, that someone else could have bought it and redirect it to God only knows where.
In that moment, I had a vision, so real I could see myself and feel the reactions, of what would happen if the customer service rep were to come back on the line and say, "We're sorry, sir. JasonCurious.com is no longer available."
I don't know that I want to tell you what that vision entailed and how it made me feel, but I will tell you that it changed my life and I made a lot of decisions about my long-term future and the direction of my career that day.
Ask yourself for me, what would you do if suddenly your current occupation were no longer an option? How would you really feel and what would you decide to do with your life?
As it turns out, they have a 30 day grace period preventing others from buying the domain names and the rep was unaware that the site has just been turned off 10 hours before.
My song of the week is one of the new Tori Amos tracks, "Code Red," for reasons I'm gonna just keep to myself for now. But the lyrics you can have. ;-)
P.S.: Constant readers, remember this one. It will be a point of reference at a later date.
- I'd sooner have a man beat me up than lie to me. At least then you can defend yourself. Unknown betrayal, the idea of "what he doesn't know won't hurt him," is undefendable and therefore unforgivable. I've been thinking about this a lot since an ex of mine last month asked me repeatedly to sleep with him, despite the fact that he is in a comitted relationship. ...And yet, he wonders why I left him. How about, "Because you're selfish trash?" - I stupidly believed when I was younger that if I could create this sort of fierce independence that no one could ever hurt me. It's one thing to be your own person but there are some real control freaks out there who don't know how to compromise when it comes to keeping their sense of independence while being in relationships. I think people like that, people afraid of being out of their own control or losing their independence, they're just people who are petrified of being hurt. I'm not so scared of that anymore. Probably because I "played it safe" so many times and still got hurt. And I'm going to fall down and get hurt again eventually! Big deal, I'll get back up and grow.
- Something really important to me in relationships is someone being able to admit when they have been wrong. I can't stand someone who thinks apologizing is a sign of weakness. I can't tell you the amount of times I've had someone do me wrong or royally piss me off and all it would've taken was showing up at the door with a daisy and the words, "I'm sorry, I was wrong," to have me welcome them back with open arms.
Barbra Streisand may never step foot on Howard Stern to promote her new album out in stores today Streisand: Live in Concert, but the next best thing was certainly having Richard Simmons on the air today to profess his undying love for her ad nausem!
By the way, these bitches are smart as hell. Or the record companies are getting smarter.
For Babs new release, if you buy it at Barnes & Noble, you get a Bonus Track not available anywhere else, the live version of "When The Sun Comes Out," which she only sang on select dates during the tour. If you buy it at Target, you get TWO bonus tracks not available anywhere else, "Stoney End" and "Don't Rain On My Parade" (full version, not the encore Broadway Reprise version available on all editions). If you buy it at Borders, you get a DVD sampler of three live performances from old concerts ("Happy Days Are Here Again" from One Voice, "Alfie" from Timeless and "Can't Help Lovin' That Man of Mine" from The Concert), plus a preview clip of the forthcoming DVD for this concert in which she sings "What Are You Doing The Rest of Your Life?" That DVD is actually the Los Angeles concert, so watching this, I just can't believe I was actually there for this performance.
Now, as not only an artist, but also a producer of all her work Babs knows that her hardcore fans, not to mention collectors, are going to go out and buy every version just to get the bonus tracks -- and because these are limited editions, the collectors will buy two of each, one to keep sealed and one to play.
Tori Amos, also the lone producer of her work, did the same thing with American Doll Posse. There is a limited edition that includes three bonus tracks ("Posse Bonus," "Smokey Joe" and "Dragon"), plus a DVD of two behind-the-scenes features. Meanwhile, iTunes carries the exclusive track "Miracle" and Borders is carrying a separate exclusive track "Drove All Night."
You know what this is? The new version of B-sides! Not to mention a last ditch effort from the labels to increase CD sales which have dropped drastically and still increasingly since the around the time sites like Napster started.
For those of you like me who don't want to buy every version though, you can thank God for YouTube. Do a search and you'll probably find all of those songs set to video so you can at least hear them if not rip the audio for yourself. ;-)
Of course if you have the money and you're a huge fan, by all means, support the artist.
Sean Lewis and I were having shitty days and the good thing about when friends have shitty days is that when you confide in each other and start to vent, you often get to see the humor as the other person is laughing hysterically over the phone as you detail the unfolding of your shitty day's shitty events. This can turn the perspective of those events from shitty to either insipid or insane in a matter of moments. I am all about perspective these days so this is much needed in my world as I try desperately to cross over from the dark side.
It was around midnight that Sean got off work. I had just gotten home from the gym. After the phone chat, we decided to meet up at The Abbey for a quick drink to put us both into a more pleasant slumber.
Can I just impress upon you again the utter coolness of The Abbey on a Monday night? I am not a fan of huge crowds or loudness at clubs. If I wanted that, I would go to circuit parties and I would honestly rather break a dinner plate over my face than go to a circuit party. But Monday nights at The Abbey are incredibly chill with a very mellow atmosphere and live acoustic music. Very different group of people and very different vibe from any other night of the week at that venue.
Anyway, it was good to catch up with each other and we ended up meeting a lot of interesting people!
I met an Argentinean Jew, complete with accent and a circumcision despite it. He actually takes people on tours of Israel for a living and teaches Hebrew which I've been trying to learn, but it's one of the most difficult languages and not easy to teach yourself. I also ended up making out with this hot jock boy, also named Jason, (his best friend with him was named Jason too, weird!) in the park for a half an hour. I don't have as much to tell you about what he does or who he is, as it was more like, "Hi, how are you?" and within a few minutes our faces were just in too close of a proximity to not go for it. He had been a very sweet man for the three minutes we had conversed and by sweet, I mean he did ask how I was after all. And that is preferred to the West Hollywood standard of greeting someone with, "I'm really hot!"
Somewhere between the Arg-Jew and Jason Jock, we ran into the love of Sean's life, some reporter named Thomas Roberts. I guess he used to work for CNN or something and then became one of the few openly out reporters. I had never seen or heard of him before, but he has been Sean's #1 fantasy I guess for a very, very long time. I am impressed though because Sean kept it together rather well and we hung out with them for quite a while, much to the dismay of other hot boys competing for Mr. Roberts' attention where all were nearly whipping out their dicks and pissing everywhere to mark their territory.
The only reason we even spotted them actually is because I noticed Cojo, who was with them. He's one of those guys you would know if you saw. (see left) He is a Canadian fashion reporter who is always on Access Hollywood and Entertainment Tonight. He doesn't get enough room to be funny on the air because he is hi-freaking-larious in person and we worked really well off each other, as we made fun of Sean and Thomas at great length. We talked about our mutual love of Kathy Griffin and gossiped the Sechrest/Seacrest scandal that, if nothing else, has proven to be a nice icebreaker for the mainstream. They recognize the name, I explain why and they instantly have a personal tale of their own about Seacrest they want to share. I could compile a book at this point of the stories I've been told about him. And am! ...Not. lol
So who knows if I will ever see any of these people again? (Except Sean. Who I might keel over and die if I never got to see again.) But I have had to accept that as much as I love staying in my apartment alone with my dog day after day and night after night, I'm never going to accomplish what I want or make any new friends. I've always been an incredibly private person who believed that I only really needed to let one person in as my best friend and the rest could just be acquaintances. Which worked quite well, I must say! Until that friendship ended, of course. And now that basket with all my eggs is no longer. How awful is it that I am still healing parts of my life from all of that? Sucks.
But the point is, I'm getting out! I'm hanging more with my best friends like Sean and meeting new people.
Tonight I'm going to acting class and instead of bolting as soon as my scene is done, I am going to stay until the bitter end, hang with the group and watch everyone else's scenes. I need to hang with my peeps there more, in and out of class. I love my hookers and hoes, but a little variety in my circle would certainly do me no harm.
Okay, I have never ripped and uploaded a piece of a DVD before. It's a LOT of work! Especially if you don't already have the software to do so.
But after a few hours of work, as promised, here is the video of my Song of the Week, Liza Minnelli performing "Yes" in her 1972 Emmy Award winning concert, Liza with a Z (link is to where you can buy Showtime's recently remastered DVD/CD set -- it's beautiful with tons of extras!), directed and choreographed by the legendary Bob Fosse with costumes by the iconic Halstead.
This was also the very first ever live concert for television, by the way. History in the making.
This weekend, Bill Maher talked on his show Real Time with Harold Ford, Jr., Sean Penn and Gary Shandling about only a few of the misconceptions the American public has about this war; such as the number of opponents in Iraq, the misuse of the word terror and who we're actually torturing/attacking.
Penn really puts things into perspective here towards the end of the clip. He explains why he feels after George Tenet admitted in his book that he and the administration had knowingly deceived the American public into the murder of young men and women of this country and others, he should be in "fucking jail" along with Bush and Cheney. This, of course, is not happening, but we will put Paris Hilton in jail for drunk driving. There's something seriously wrong with this picture.
I fear a lot of people might initially look at this and say why in the hell are these two actors talking about the war? People say the same thing about my gal Babs all the time. Hell, people say the same thing about me.
But Shandling says it best here and says it for all of us: "With all due respect, I am a comedian but in my spare time... things bother me."
I first fell in love with this song when I was 21 years old and began a totally healthy obsession with Liza Minnelli. It's a peppy song, a feel good song, one that gets you on your feet and wanting to conquer the world.
But it wasn't until recently that I really discovered the lyric. It's absolutely everything that I have been attempting to become in my life lately and describes it more perfectly than I ever could.
It's more than a song, it's a philosophy.
She sings in the song, "Yes," words by the infamous team of Kander & Ebb: "When opportunity comes your way, you can't start wondering what to say. You'll never win if you never play. Don't say why, say why not. Say yes! There's lots of chafe, but there's lots of wheat. You might get mugged as you walk the street, but on the other hand you might greet that handsome stranger you've longed to meet. Say yes! Yes I'll look, yes I'll walk, yes I'd love to do such and such, yes I'll try, yes I'll dare, yes I'll fly, yes I'll share... and yes I am. And yes, I'll be."
I have lived most of my life up until now as a hermit. Social butterfly? Sure, when paid to be! Otherwise, I have found it difficult to leave the comfort and security of my home base. And that, of course, extends to all aspects of my life. I tend to stay where I'm content instead of pushing the boundaries, getting out of my comfort zone, making change instead of keeping the status quo -- all of which can be detrimental to growth as a person as even in career.
There is a fear in me that has been greater than my faith and that's something I'm ready to cut out of my life today.
And yes, I can!
P.S.: I need a good DVD ripper. Anyone know any free software to download? I wanted to upload her performance of this song from Liza with a Z but don't know how. If I manage to do it later this week, I will upload.
So much YouTube to share this week, I figured I may as well do it all in one blog...
Good Morning America did a report yesterday on the corruption in recruiting America's youth. Kids armed with hidden cams were told that the war is over, that they are sending troops home and would not likely go to war. One recruiter told a boy he would help him cheat on his drug test. The desperation to send young men and women to be killed made me sick to my stomach.
Coinciding with next week's CD release from Brabra Streisand's last tour, Streisand: Live in Concert, Babs has announced that she will be continuing that tour with a European leg this Summer. She released a video press kit to media outlets seen here.
Okay, I admit it. I'm still watching American Idol. And I hadn't really chosen who I wanted to win until this week when Blake went from being a great performer to being an artist. He's always tried to put his own spin on songs, but never this successfully. This rendition of Bon Jovi's "You Give Love A Bad Name" was the finest I had seen since his first night's performance of that obscure Jamaroquai song. He really is every inch an artist and performer.
The best live performance I've seen from Tori Amos's new album, American Doll Posse, is this solo version of "Beauty of Speed." I was a little disappointed in the live performances of "Big Wheel" (needs a more dynamic arrangement for being played live and it's hard song to sing -- not a lot of breathing room), but this gem of the week makes up for it completely.
