Random Thoughts on Relationships

- I'd sooner have a man beat me up than lie to me. At least then you can defend yourself. Unknown betrayal, the idea of "what he doesn't know won't hurt him," is undefendable and therefore unforgivable. I've been thinking about this a lot since an ex of mine last month asked me repeatedly to sleep with him, despite the fact that he is in a comitted relationship. ...And yet, he wonders why I left him. How about, "Because you're selfish trash?"

- I stupidly believed when I was younger that if I could create this sort of fierce independence that no one could ever hurt me. It's one thing to be your own person but there are some real control freaks out there who don't know how to compromise when it comes to keeping their sense of independence while being in relationships. I think people like that, people afraid of being out of their own control or losing their independence, they're just people who are petrified of being hurt. I'm not so scared of that anymore. Probably because I "played it safe" so many times and still got hurt. And I'm going to fall down and get hurt again eventually! Big deal, I'll get back up and grow.

- Something really important to me in relationships is someone being able to admit when they have been wrong. I can't stand someone who thinks apologizing is a sign of weakness. I can't tell you the amount of times I've had someone do me wrong or royally piss me off and all it would've taken was showing up at the door with a daisy and the words, "I'm sorry, I was wrong," to have me welcome them back with open arms.