Dreams
Although I am thankful he hasn't been consuming my every thought during the waking hours, I can't seem to escape from Mikey in my sleep. I keep having two reoccuring dreams about him and I finally ended up having to consult my dream book for insight.
DREAM #1: Mikey and I are outside somewhere and see Tori Amos on a cell phone. She smiles very warmly when we approach her but puts up her finger, silently asking us to hold on while she finishes her call. The dream ends there.
Usually when Tori comes to me in my dreams, she is speaking to me directly, giving me advice. So it was odd to see her in this context. Dreaming of celebrities in general though is always about wanting to connect to the energy that they hold, to enter those aspects of our own self. The real key here is the cell phone she carries which denotes a desire to reach out, to make immediate contact, which is usually due to a recent detachment from someone. And interestingly enough, here's she asking us to to hold on, to wait it out. So maybe Tori is speaking directly to us afterall, saying in regards to our current situation and the sadness of it all, "Just chill. Give it time. It sucks and it is hard, but things will get better."
DREAM #2: I see Mikey on his way to a club and he is with my ex-boyfriend Scott Williams. I'm immediately kind of put off and made uncomfortable by the situation. I ask Scott what he's doing and he says he's in town for a couple of days and wanted to see Mikey. (Mikey and Scott did know each other, but very briefly.) I am immediately hurt that he would make plans with him, but not even call to let me know he's in town. Suddenly, I realize Scott isn't the only one with him. It's every ex-boyfriend I've ever had. Not just ex-boyfriends, but even the guys I lusted after in high school are there. He's got Jonathan Weissman, Garad Copstead, Danny Wulfing, Jason Galanes, Mac Turner, Christian Owen, seriously everyone you can think of -- and as they walk away, it's almost as if they're all marching in some sort of parade-like formation down the street.
I asked myself in the dream, "Why would Mikey be hanging out with all of them?"
I asked myself the same question when I awakened from the dream. It just didn't seem to make any sense.
It took me hours before I finally realized... why wouldn't he be grouped together with them? He is one of them now.
DREAM #1: Mikey and I are outside somewhere and see Tori Amos on a cell phone. She smiles very warmly when we approach her but puts up her finger, silently asking us to hold on while she finishes her call. The dream ends there.
Usually when Tori comes to me in my dreams, she is speaking to me directly, giving me advice. So it was odd to see her in this context. Dreaming of celebrities in general though is always about wanting to connect to the energy that they hold, to enter those aspects of our own self. The real key here is the cell phone she carries which denotes a desire to reach out, to make immediate contact, which is usually due to a recent detachment from someone. And interestingly enough, here's she asking us to to hold on, to wait it out. So maybe Tori is speaking directly to us afterall, saying in regards to our current situation and the sadness of it all, "Just chill. Give it time. It sucks and it is hard, but things will get better."
DREAM #2: I see Mikey on his way to a club and he is with my ex-boyfriend Scott Williams. I'm immediately kind of put off and made uncomfortable by the situation. I ask Scott what he's doing and he says he's in town for a couple of days and wanted to see Mikey. (Mikey and Scott did know each other, but very briefly.) I am immediately hurt that he would make plans with him, but not even call to let me know he's in town. Suddenly, I realize Scott isn't the only one with him. It's every ex-boyfriend I've ever had. Not just ex-boyfriends, but even the guys I lusted after in high school are there. He's got Jonathan Weissman, Garad Copstead, Danny Wulfing, Jason Galanes, Mac Turner, Christian Owen, seriously everyone you can think of -- and as they walk away, it's almost as if they're all marching in some sort of parade-like formation down the street.
I asked myself in the dream, "Why would Mikey be hanging out with all of them?"
I asked myself the same question when I awakened from the dream. It just didn't seem to make any sense.
It took me hours before I finally realized... why wouldn't he be grouped together with them? He is one of them now.
posted by Jason Sechrest at 12:52 PM
4 Comments:
May be the inner-side of you just can't get over Mikey.
May be the dream doesn't really mean anything.
May be this is the ordeal to help you get over him.
May be it's a wake up call that he's now one of them. the ex-'s group.
btw, I had this dream last night that I was fingering a pussy and for some reason, I woke up right away, it was disgusting
it's to soon after your breakup with mikey jason. unfortunately, you are probably going to have several more dreams about him till you are truly "over" him even though it seems you are doing very well.my longest relationship was 14 years. i cant tell you how many nights i would "think i was waking up" and hear him turn off the alarm system as if he was home for the night. there were even nights i was so into my dream that i got up out of bed to see if he was "home".every day you get stronger and you are definately keeping busy so focus on the terrific time you are having with your friends right now. hey, if you are in indianapolis when you come home, try to come into saks.chances are i will be there and i can hook you up with fragrance and skincare. if i dont see you, have a great holiday. hope to share more rare songs with you soon. i have to find the video of the press conference for under the pink when my friend filmed it. there are only 2 copies out there and i was able to ask her a couple good questions and was the only one to get a hug before she left.xoxo..jeff
If dreams really do come from our "subconcious" or lower mind knitting together thoughts & experience into a coherent or inchorent storyline of a dream. I think in the typically Blunt & Brutal way our subconcious operates you got a strong meesage with this dream. You may disagree but when the dream really comes from your "inner"being well you really must listen. Mikey has joined the parade of x's but some of them are still friends right? So no problem I would much rather breakup (and accept that) with a BF and remain friends than create an enemy. God knows as gay men we have enough hatred in our lives lets not create more. It is nice how Dreams can bring a finality to something our supposedly "concious"mind is not willing to ackowledge. Sweet dreams Jason may your next one be about that gorgeous man you will discover under your tree,,,what we don't have those kind of dreams? ;)
DeWayne - I agree completely. I have really tried to handle this as adult as I can and I explained to him I don't want this to be a bad break up. I want us to be able to hang out a couple times a year if Liza is doing a concert in town, ya know? Talk online now and then. Send emails to each other. This doesn't have to be some angry, awful thing. It sucks. But I'm not mad at him. Now, how he chooses to handle the break up is completely up to him. xo L, J.
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