Outside The Box
Okay, catching up. A little behind here.Seven gigs a week Monday though Friday on top of the JasonCurious.com work and PR clients has proven to be way more draining than I had anticipated. Apparently, I'm not 21 anymore. The downtime I have is usually spent sleeping or catching up with friends.
MONDAYS
Hosting The Jason Sechrest Show at KSEX 4 pm - 6 pm
TUESDAY
Singing at James Games at The Other Side 9:30 pm - Midnight.*
WEDNESDAY
Hosting The Jason Sechrest Show at KSEX 4 pm - 6 pm
Hosting Porn Star Games at Here Lounge 8:00 pm - 10:30 pm
THURSDAY
Hosting The Porno Palace at MJ's Bar 10:00 pm - 1:00 am
FRIDAY
Hosting The Jason Sechrest Show at KSEX 4 pm - 6 pm
Singing at James Lent & Friends at The Other Side 9 pm - 1 am
* Tuesday's event at TOS serves as a rehearsal for Friday. If you can't make it Fridays, feel free to drop in Tuesdays when it is far less crowded and more intimate.
It looks like I'm going to be doing another interview for The Pixie Show's blog in the coming weeks. I'll also be in the next issue of Rolling Stone magazine for an article I can't say anything about until it hits newsstands on Friday, but some of you have already written in asking about it. And later in the month, I'll be on the cover of PULP Magazine with an accompanying article and interview on all the new projects.
So, now that the shameless self-promotion is out of the way, let's get personal...
Multi-dimensional. Duality. The gray area. I don't know when I stopped being such an extremist but it seems these days I can have a drink without having five, I can have a piece of candy without eating the whole bag and I might even make it to the gym later in the day. It's no longer all or nothing, but instead always something. I've always believed that without darkness there can be no light but there's an overall appreciation for it now that was never there before.
More simply put, my life is a lot more well-rounded these days. I think when I was completely submersed in porn, I stopped appreciating it as a viable source of income and just plain fun work. When it became the center of everything I was doing, it became the bane of my existence. This is why Chi Chi LaRue is also a DJ, in case you were wondering. It happens to everyone. Most of them just leave when it happens.
These days, being able to really make part of my living off acting and singing, what I came out here to do in the first place, has made me appreciate hosting porn events and working on my site a lot more. That balance was so desperately needed in order to really value both of those careers.
This has extended into my personal life as well. I was dating someone recently only to discover they were far more multi-dimensional than I had considered before getting to know them. Why this should come as a great shock to me, I'm not sure. I have a "persona" that I put on for work that is only a fraction of who I am as a person. But this person really has a firm grasp on being both the innocent, shy nerd in public and the wild, fearless whore in private -- and neither side is less genuine than the other. We all have both of those "people" living inside of us and to be able to embrace both really makes a whole individual. The church has done enough to separate the sacred from the sexual without our help. Rebelling by saying, "I'm not scared of anything," or "I'll fuck anything with a hole," is not really rebelling -- it's just proving right those who say, "You're either one or the other. You're either good or you're bad."
Of course it was the fantasy of the "nerd" that attracted me to him in the first place (I work with a few sluts, remember?), but instead of running away at the first sight of more than a stereotype, for the first time, I thought to myself, "Well, now what if this just means he has more to offer? What if this means you get two for the price of one? And what if he can inspire you to balance and embrace both of these individuals that live within you instead of feeling like they have to be separated?"
I've talked about this here before, the desire that us men have for objectification. It's why we like sex with strangers or sex on a first date, because we can make those people into whoever we want them to be in our heads. The second they show they are something less than what we wanted them to be, the spell is broken. I think most all men are like this, but you put men with men and it becomes a real uphill battle to be able to find truth and humanity sexy, flaws and all.
Outside of the bedroom, it's not just men, but women too who fall for this. If someone is an actor, we don't want to give them a chance as a singer. If someone is a porn star, we don't want to hear them rant about politics. If someone is a mother, we don't want to see her being a slut.
In the PULP cover story that is coming out on me in their October edition, there is one answer in particular I gave them that I was very proud of.
PULP: How do you keep your Internet show "sexy" and make people think at the same time?
JS: By not assuming that a beautiful person doesn't have any brains. By making them feel comfortable voicing their opinion about important issues without being afraid that they are going to sound stupid. It's okay to sound stupid, too. At least you're talking. And at least you learn from it. I think a lot of times people buy into the stereotypes that people give them. Sometimes someone wants to put a big sticker on your chest that says BIMBO and because that person loves you when you wear it, you think the world will love you when you wear it and you forget that it was their sticker, not your's.
We all make the mistake of putting some people into a "box."
The only thing worse is when we put ourselves in one.
Song of the Week: "Glory of the 80s" - Tori Amos, To Venus & Back
(Last Week's) Song of the Week: "My Posse Can Do" - Tori Amos, American Doll Posse (B-Side)
Silicone party Barbies to the left and Joan of Arcs to the right.
posted by Jason Sechrest at 4:32 PM
15 Comments:
1. Not only we always make the mistake of putting people into a box, but we're also the criminal of creators of label with a set definition, whether it's legitimate or not.
2. Labels of porn stars, I'm glad I see them in a different way, at least I think (again, IMO) that you need to have a brain these days besides looking pretty. Dumb blondes is great, but like the 3rd place in Miss America isn't getting you anywhere in the long-run. or as Chinese called it, it's a vase.
3. Is porn a quick platform for people who wants to be noticed that the fact of they also have other talents? IF Chi Chi isn't as big as what she's enjoying today, would people notice that she has a talent/interest in DJing?
jason, the worse thing we can do is put anyone in a box , we are more than labels and balance in everything. you are so right!!!.
thanks for the nice message,
Hugs
Martin
Jimmy - Hmm... that's a good question. Yes and no. Chi Chi has never done porn, she's only directed it. I don't know if there would be the same reaction if, say, Johnny Hazzard or Chad Donovan tried their hand at being a DJ. Who knows? Maybe it would be. But it seems it's harder for people who have done porn to break out into other things they might want to do for a living in the public eye. Possible? Absolutely. Look at Colton Ford. But harder. And you have to have a lot of talent. Medicority won't cut it in order for some to look past your past. xo L, J.
Martin - Thanks for reading. Glad you found me here! ;-) xo L, J.
Jason.
I like your BLUE hair style.
I saw the other guys on your site. I would rather see you naked and have sex with you. :)
Sam
Yes, Jason, you are no longer 21...which makes that hair look even more ludicrous.
I think the acceptance comes to various tiers. (which is part of jimyvr's weird theory series)
1 - WeHo Tier or Sensible Porn Fan tier. It's a niche within a niche (regardless how porn is gearing towards mainstream like Jenna Jameson or Brad Benton, demographic-wise porn is still a niche market). People would accept it right away and be supportive. As for the "Sensible Porn Fan Tier" (which I falls into this), it's people who are understanding and have the ability to distinguish what's fantasy and what's reality. The hotties in the industries are human being like us too, they need to make a living besides porn too. It's probably aka the understanding people tier.
2 - The Gays who are not in WeHo Tier or Gay Fantasy Tier. They don't live in porn land so they can only see the people in the industry in person at starbucks at the corner of Santa Monica Blvd (near La Cienega?) or Here lounge from time to time. They still have fantasies and got sucked into it. Once their fantasies is breaking to mainstream arena, it kind of shattered their dream and probably have certain level of difficulties of getting used to, which leads to acceptance issue.
3 - The general public tier. This is the most difficult one, obviously.
ChiChi didn't do porn but the reputation was built from directing and her characters in every gigs. That's why she's easily being accepted because she made sure maximum exposure for her DJ career but also she's just incomparable (as Derek Hartley on Sirius OutQ always quote). Besides she plays the right music for the gays. If she kept playing those homophobic or women-centered R&B/Hip-Hop/Rap thing in the club, the gays MAY have problems with it.
Regardless whatever which tier when one porn star is trying to breakthrough (now I think it's a bit ridiculous with my theory), I do agree with the fact that they have to have the talent. Otherwise it can be embarrassing if there's an equivalent of William Hung in porn industry.
But I also think with the case of Fredrick Ford and Colton Ford, they both have put their porn career aside and focusing on the music scene, so that may be the reason why they are successful, where as Johnny Hazzard's "Deeper Into You" may have difficulties to gain exposure in the tier 3 level because he's still doing porn currently. People may have problems with the past, but it doesn't lasts for long.
And you? You're the Oprah of Porn. Despite you're still in the industry, I don't see that's an obstacle for you in the new arena.
xo.
jimmy
Jason 8:16 is obviously DK. He was promoting for his site on your News blog at that same time.
nice to catch up
m
Aaaawwwww.... We're all made up of light and dark. The point is to find the happy medium.
Sam - LOL... if only I could see myself the way you see me! Thanks. xo L, J.
Jimmy - Interesting theories! I believe talent will win out every time. You can have Robert Downey, Jr.'s history and still be nominated for an Oscar! Seriously, if you're the best person for the job, you're gonna get hired. WHo would want to hurt their production by hiring someone lesser than? The only reason a porn star has not crossed over to winning an Oscar is because they are not giving Oscar worthy performances obviously. Look at a few pornos. Not the highest calibur of acting we've seen, is it? When it is -- and I do believe it will happen someday -- that person will make the cross. xo L, J.
10:39 - I don't really care who it is. It says enough that I allow all comments to be posted here. I don't need to reply to all of them too. xo L, J.
Anthony - Indeed! Glad you got the point of the post. Thanks. xo L, J.
Even at the time there are work discrimination towards the gays in a broader picture, I still admit the fact that, yes, if you have the talent, if you have the guts, if you have the passion and committed to it, you'll be successful.
Oscar-worthy performance is interesting, I wonder what's your vision of an Oscar-worthy scene and will the porn audiences in the middle of the country (we'll skip WeHo and the Chelsea, because you know why) able to identify with it? To me, porn is simply a movie or a tv show which characters "acts without clothes on". Michael Lucas have the ability to bring "La Dolce Vita" into whole new level of porn but, IMO, the acceptance of the audiences is holding him back.
Porn Stars winning Oscars is probably a goal you set way too high because even there are actors/actresses working their ass off for life and never won any, lol. All the smart porn boys and girls have everything what it takes to be successful in other arena. But the one last push is the distinction of general perception. If the one last push gains full force to the boys and girls who are eager, that'll be the day that you and I and everyone would love to see.
xo
jimmy
Really? Who interviewed you for Pulp? Actually, its good that someone else did, as its always good to have another person's take, you know? I know they did pick another wire service thing so... But Rolling Stone huh? Nice. To write for them... 2 dollars a word is always good. As for the nerd thing, it is more often my experience that people are often (but definitely not always) sexually opposite of their public persona in many ways. I know I tend to be and I will leave it at thar. As for sounding stupid, eh. I always feel like that.. I know I look like a dweeb most of the time, but I use it to my advantage. I can make myself look intelligent and like fine trim, but I have found that giving people an in and then making them realize I have a lot to offer can help get them talking. WAY back when I was a kid, I was very much the snotly little brainiac. Then, life hit me with a ton of problems and I realized how stupid that approach was. I got over it, I said fuck it, and I have lived with it ever since. Kind of funny, I never dressed like a punk or anything, and yet most of the hardcore punkers I have gotten to know over my lifetime, to give you on example, have told me I was one of the most "punk rock" people they knew because I was honest with myself and the world, i.e. non-poseur. As for the "box" thing, its important that we not put ourselves in a box and that we defy others who are taking the "easy road" of superficial classification that is such a strong temptation to the human mind. Personally, on the sex front, I prefer "warts and all." Sure, if I am masturbating, its nice to have the fantasy, but the "wart" approach lets me get past my "warts" and to find them interesting facets of my own desire. Am I saying there aren't deal-breakers? Fuck no, but hey... I can dig a few stretch marks, knowwhatImsayin? So, yeah, I guess I will have to buy the next Rolling Stone.
Gene
A-fucking-MEN Gene! Well said.
Wow! Jason just looking at your schedule I am EXHAUSTED!
How do you do it?
Keeping it Fun and Real I guess,,Kudos for Stamina (& Talent)
Gene - I think the writer for PULP's name was Jason. Very different interview than your's. You are the best person to have interviewed me to date still. ;-) xo L, J.
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