Happiness Is A Choice
I have said it before and I'll say it again: You can spout wisdom six ways to Sunday and read all about enlightenment until the cows come home, but it enters your being when it's ready to. It's quite a juxtaposition I feel on a regular basis, the feeling that we are all incredibly capable and yet we don't have nearly as much control over the details as we think we do. Anything can happen if we let it ...if it's the right time and the right place. We write the map of our lives, but the turns in the roads were here before we were. It's that great balance and elusive gray area again, I suppose. I've heard it said that happiness is a choice and I've said it to others, but I had to personally be really tired of not feeling happy before I could accept this as being a choice. I am an eternal optimist in that I believe anything is possible, but I am the eternal pessimist in that I see the glass as half empty. Isn't that weird as all hell?! I believe I could sprout wings and fly if I wanted to badly enough, but I am always focusing on what didn't get done in a day, what I did wrong, what others did wrong, how things could be better, people's incompetence, their faults, etc. And it's one thing to be a perfectionist, but to let it disrupt your mood on a consistent basis is kind of a drag, don't you think? So I just got tired of it I guess.
I finally realized there's always going to be something wrong. Always. If you're looking to be angry or upset about something, or if you're just the type who waits for the other shoe to drop, trust me, you'll find it and it sure will. There's always something there. There is no such thing as perfect. We can come as close to it as we can and we can discover what we might do better next time and then we've gotta throw up our hands and love where we're standing and who we're standing there with.
Starting next week, I'm going to be booked at seven gigs in a five day span EVERY week. I can't deal with focusing only on what will go wrong during all of these events or I am going to make myself absolutely miserable. So I'm choosing not to. Out of neccessity really. And not so surprisingly, I've never been happier. Duh.
The weird thing is, it doesn't take that much. Try smiling. It can help you focus on the fun. My job is fun. My life is fun. I'm a total fool if I think it's not, really.
And I've also got to say, I'm learning that there is a place for entertainment for the sake of entertainment.
I was talking to Brad Benton about this the other day. We both agreed if we could meet up half way at our personalities, we'd be the perfect people. He could stand to be a little more introspective and think deeper thoughts. I could stand to recognize that entertainment for the sake of entertainment is fine and a much healthier escape for some people than other things, and not everything in life has to be over-analyzed. It doesn't all have to be "art" that you walk away from having learned something or thought twice upon. There's room for both.
We live in the physical world, though the physical world is not all there is.
Though the physical world is not all there is, we live in the physical world.
Know what I mean, jellybean?
Song of the Week: "Lose That Long Face" - Judy Garland, A Star Is Born
"The blues black out when they can see a smile that says, 'Move on! No vacancy!'"
posted by Jason Sechrest at 10:03 PM
2 Comments:
1. Why would you let yourself personally be really tired of not feeling happy? Are you choosing being unhappy? (May be I'm not quite getting it since it's past my bedtime)
2. Things will always go wrong, but I went to this farm yesterday, and the farmer said, there would never be a mistake and you'll never learn from it if you don't do it (something like that). Us human being can make things perfect but I do think we have the capability to reduce its magnitude, however.
3. Congrats with new gigs. I swear I'm so going when I plan to fly down later this fall. Since the gigs are live, anything can go wrong, like wardrobe malfunction, mic felling apart. But when it comes to these, it actually sparks different chemistry and that's what make it fun. Have the fun now, leave the miserable at home, or at least put it aside for now.
After watching Kathy Griffin's "D-List" Show with the episode of her at GayVN. I was dreaming about I have the capability to host a show as a fan in porn, but 99% of the time I'd probably bomb the show while being overwhelmed when staring at the charming people.
4. Despite the ups and downs in your personal life, your public life/work IS fun. People will be throwing eggs at you if you dare to complain your job is no fun. Honestly, even a fun job have its lows, but like you said, try smiling, try to fun the amusement part of it. At the end of the day, we're all trying to create a little heaven of our own.
5. Love Blake Riley
cheers and good lucks with your busy work, but remember, get yourself well and don't you dare to be sick! xo
cheers
jim aka jimyvr
Jimmy - 1. Yes, I think that sometimes we choose unhappiness when we look at the glass as half empty instead of half full. That's a personal choice we make and when we only see the negative, we just make ourselves miserable.
2. I don't think there is a such thing as perfection and I think the idea of it is toxic to us spiritually. The only thing perfect is God. We can strive for that greatness but have to humble ourselves at the same time in recognizing we will never achieve it. I agree with the farmer though. There's no such thing as a mistake when you learn so much from them.
3. Can't wait till you see the new gigs! They're going to be a lot of fun.
4. Well, some days it is fun and some days it isn't. It's a job and it's work. It's more fun than a lot of jobs but at the end of the day, it's hard work, especially when you're running a mini-empire. People can throw eggs all they want. My job has been to expose the behind-the-scenes of porn, not to sell a fantasy. That's everyone else's job, not mine. I'm not selling the fantasy that I think I have this dream job and it's no work at all and every day life is a chair of bowlies. I'm chronicling my personal journey here. There are days when I am working and have more fun than I ever have in my life. There are other days when I'd rather be rolling in glass than reviewing five pieces of porn. Ask anyone who has worked at AVN or any other job in this business for that matter for 10 years. They'll tell you the same thing. Just the way it is. Just me.
5. Blake is beautiful, inside and out.
xo
L,
J.
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