Without A Rear View
Something about singing that is very different from acting or writing is the way you handle mistakes. And this makes an interesting correlation to life.
There are always mistakes. In acting, you find a way to make them fit within the framework of the scene, sort of making it seem like the mistake was meant to be all along. You can cover your mistakes in acting. You can cover them in writing too with a backspace key. But in singing, once you make a mistake, you can't correct it. And I think that's kind of scary! When you make a mistake or even just feel you could hit a note a lot better than you did, you have to just let it go and keep moving. It's sort of like driving without a rear view mirror. And anyone who reads this damned thing knows I practically live for my rear view mirror.
I know all of this now, but I didn't know it so much on Friday night. When the mistakes came, I found it very difficult to keep driving. I focused on them because I couldn't fix them.
I'm sure a lot of people out there would find it difficult to believe that I am lacking in self confidence. And to them I might say, "Do not mistake self promotion for self confidence."
Despite the fact that I got a meeting with a manager, a two thumbs up from the piano player, a regular gig out of it from the bar's owner and great reactions from the audiences -- I thought I sucked ass and went home feeling like I could have done so much better. And focused on it. Throughout the night. Throughout the next day.
I think it's time for Jason to stop beating himself up. Seriously. That's a little ridiculous.
On the upside, it's a good thing that my opinion matters more to me than anyone else's I guess.
In the past, I've pointed the finger at other people and said, "You've made me feel this way."
Mmm... not so much. I make me feel this way. Good to know! lol
I'm actually rather happy about that now because as I have said in the past, once you take full responsibility of something, you are then in control of it and can change it anytime.
That's one mistake I can correct.
Nobody's going to show me Spring but me, right?
In the springtime of his voodoo, he was going to show me Spring.
...But every road leads back to my door.
Song of the Week: "In the Springtime of His Voodoo" - Tori Amos, Boys for Pele
There are always mistakes. In acting, you find a way to make them fit within the framework of the scene, sort of making it seem like the mistake was meant to be all along. You can cover your mistakes in acting. You can cover them in writing too with a backspace key. But in singing, once you make a mistake, you can't correct it. And I think that's kind of scary! When you make a mistake or even just feel you could hit a note a lot better than you did, you have to just let it go and keep moving. It's sort of like driving without a rear view mirror. And anyone who reads this damned thing knows I practically live for my rear view mirror.
I know all of this now, but I didn't know it so much on Friday night. When the mistakes came, I found it very difficult to keep driving. I focused on them because I couldn't fix them.
I'm sure a lot of people out there would find it difficult to believe that I am lacking in self confidence. And to them I might say, "Do not mistake self promotion for self confidence."
Despite the fact that I got a meeting with a manager, a two thumbs up from the piano player, a regular gig out of it from the bar's owner and great reactions from the audiences -- I thought I sucked ass and went home feeling like I could have done so much better. And focused on it. Throughout the night. Throughout the next day.
I think it's time for Jason to stop beating himself up. Seriously. That's a little ridiculous.
On the upside, it's a good thing that my opinion matters more to me than anyone else's I guess.
In the past, I've pointed the finger at other people and said, "You've made me feel this way."
Mmm... not so much. I make me feel this way. Good to know! lol
I'm actually rather happy about that now because as I have said in the past, once you take full responsibility of something, you are then in control of it and can change it anytime.
That's one mistake I can correct.
Nobody's going to show me Spring but me, right?
In the springtime of his voodoo, he was going to show me Spring.
...But every road leads back to my door.
Song of the Week: "In the Springtime of His Voodoo" - Tori Amos, Boys for Pele
posted by Jason Sechrest at 10:34 PM
7 Comments:
This is all absolutely ture. I personally envy anyone brave enough to sing. I certainly can't but nothing makes me feel then hearing people sing.
All my best for all the new career challenges to come - there is no doubt you will be a success.
Ronald - I know with your background, you would really appreciate the arrangement to a lot of the songs I'm choosing. haha... "Ding! Dong! The Witch Is Dead" is from Harold Arllen Sings with Friends, "I Love A Piano" is from the Liza London concerts... xo L, J.
Well said, dude. Again, glad you're self aware. It can be so much cheaper than a therapist! Ha Ha!...No really, them beyatches can be expensive! :-) But seriously, it's good that you're always challenging yourself. However, I'd suggest to make sure you don't discredit situations when you see there's room for improvement. Things don't have to be "all or nothing". Case in point: You got up there...sang your cute ass off...and people loved ya! There may have been room for improvement...but don't discredit the whole situation because of a couple missed notes or whu' ever. From all the feedback and new gigs you got lined up from it, I'm sure you were the only one who could even tell certain things didn't hit their mark. Everyone else was probably just enjoying you immensely. So, I say, pat yourself on the back, look in the mirror and go "Mmm mmmm mmmm! Boy you got it goin' on!" :-) Well done, dude!
Oh Mary!
The reason why we're lack of self-confidence (besides the fact my coming out process also had something to do with it), is because WE ARE the ones wanting things to be P-E-R-F-E-C-T.
I'm pretty well aware how you would feel if something goes wrong. Even worse is one can't or don't know how to fix it to begin with.
BUT, this isn't a bad thing if one knows how to handle the lack of self-confidence issue because it is a driving force for improvement and the path to success. Your past diary entries already reflects that Jason.
I'm off for my self-confidence gaining session - clubbing.
cheers :)
One of these days, I'm gonna go see you perform before I move out of LA.... and you're going to kick ass...
It's not easy singing in front of people.... when you're with a group, it's different because you can hide your mistakes... but when it's just you, it can seem like a lot of pressure....
Pretend you're in the shower... or think of it as a giant self-promotion speech.... or just get totally wasted before you get up on stage... ;)
*HUGS*
Antonio- I'm getting there! LOL... I promise. xo L, J.
Jimmy - You're totally right. Jane Fonda gave a great quote to James Lipton on Inside the Actor's Studio where she talked about the idea of perfection being "toxic" and how we have to "usher it to the door, slam it shut and never let it back in." She said, "Gods are perfect. We are human beings." xo L, J.
Rich - Exactly! It is a lot of pressure! lol... And I do hope you make it to see me soon. That would be awesome! ;-) xo L, J.
Post a Comment
<< Home