Spending Mother's Day with The Mother of All Things Porno!

"Beware! Our idols and demons will pursue us... until we learn to let them go."

So shouts famed Andy Warhol actor, Udo Kier in his native tongue, portraying a Warhol-esque director as those idols and demons become balloons metaphorically let go into the air as the video begins.

I first saw the music video for Madonna's "Deeper and Deeper" when I was 13 years old. I had just moved from Indiana to Florida and for a curious boy just beginning to go through the hormonal changes of puberty, there was no better artist to become obsessed with and no album moreso the object of the obsession than Erotica.

"Deeper and Deeper" was the first track and the first video that thorougly sucked me in. Hours went by when I would stare at my ceiling with the CD on repeat, listening to it over and over again thinking, "There is no other song that better describes how I feel inside." With lyrics like, "Daddy couldn't be all wrong and my momma made me learn this song," to describe how our parents and upbringing can determine the places we yearn for love and the ways we seek it out, it would be well over five years until I would find any other song that better defined where I was in my life.

There are homosexual undercurrents in the lyrics as well and it was around that time that I started really recognizing how attracted I was to guys. Madonna, my idol's, embracing and accepting of homosexuality helped me to feel more comfortable expressing it and even seeking out ways to experience it.

"Someone said that romance was dead but I believed it instead of remembering what my momma told me, let my father mold me, then you try to hold me, you remind me what they said. This feeling inside I can't explain but my love is alive and I'm never gonna hide it again."

I never hid it again.

Some songs change your life.

This one changed mine.

Little did I know that over 15 years later, I would be best friends with the drag queen featured prominently in that video, Chi Chi LaRue. She's very much a mother figure in this industry so I wanted to give a shout out to her on this holiday. She's become such an amazing light in my life that I don't know what I would do without over the past couple of years. I'm excited to be spending tonight with her.

But really, listening to this song... wow, it's so funny to me how the world finds ways for things to come full circle. I have this little picture in my head of some Ghost of Mother's Day Futures coming up to her and going, "See that nerdy little acne ridden boy in bed listening to this song? You and he are gonna barely go 10 minutes without talking to each other someday." And her looking at the ghost like it's out of it's mind and going, ".....Dooooooo-kay! Are you kidding? Great. Fantastic. What's next? Take me somewhere else!"

Tonight, I'm going to go let my body move to the music and go with the flow, letting go of idols and demons! I'll be at the club My House with Chi Chi LaRue DJ'ing from 9:00 pm on as the Mother of Porn helms the mother of all Mother's Day parties in Hollywood!

I hope to see all of my friends there in a scene that will look no doubt frighteningly similar to the one below. ;-)

Madonna - Deeper and Deeper
by foxysoul