Silver
It's been said that there is a thin line between love and hate. I have found myself hating people who at one point in time, I said "I love you" to on a daily basis.
I have also found myself falling in love with people when only minutes before I was quite certain I hated everything about them.
This is no reason to interrupt our favorite soaps! We've all put up temporary residency there.
So why is it then that when we are merely in argument, we build walls, draw lines in the dirt and thumb our nose to those we think, while drowning in the emotion du jour, we so despise?
Someone said to me recently, "With all due respect, you have to realize that stopping a war between countries is far more difficult than stopping a verbal war with someone in your everyday life."
Exactly. So if it is so much easier, why aren't we doing it?
Why not accept this so called thin, if not sometimes blurred, line between love and hate? Severing ties, breaking up, moving on... all of those things don't have to equate being filled with hatred for the individual to whom you're waving goodbye. In fact, such anger will be the tie that continues to bind you that person. Why not recognize that there must have been something at some point that drew you to that indivudal, even though it didn't work out? Why deny there was once solidarity? If one person puts down their weapons, the other will probably follow suit, seeing as they felt this love once too.
I'm not saying that we have to remain friends with everyone. Some personalities clash to the point that it becomes destructive to have them in your life. (Which doesn't mean, mind you, that it is destructive for everyone else to have them in their lives! Just you.) What I'm suggesting is that we not be so quick to set fire to the bridge just because it is one we no longer want to step foot on.
Would you like to smile and hug when you happen to run into them at the grocery store? Or would you prefer to become a bundle of nerves, feel the unresolved anger boiling within you and avoid saying hello at all costs?
Look, harsh words are often thrown. Sometimes punches fly. Hell, I've seen plates broken and furniture destroyed and trails of blood left in the wake. Talk about war in our own homes.
But when all of that is over and it is truly time to say goodbye...
We could make it easy. Make this easy. It's not as heavy as it seems, wrapped in metal, wrapped in ivy, painted in mint ice cream. We could be bouncing off the top of this cloud. I've put on my silver.
Every cloud has its silver lining. Even when you can't find it in the other person, you can always put on your own silver.
All fruit goes bad, but the seeds are still good. They're there to plant what we've learned from the situation and to remind us of the great taste that was once held in that space.
Song of the Week: "Bouncing Off Clouds" - Tori Amos, American Doll Posse (In Stores May 1st)
posted by Jason Sechrest at 8:54 AM
5 Comments:
This is so very true. I also dislike the word hate (way too strong). It has been my firm affirmation, you can't control the universe only your own reaction to what happens around you.
You have outlined several very positive affirmations.
I appreciate everything you share.
"Every cloud has its silver lining. Even when you can't find it in the other person, you can always put on your own silver."
"All fruit goes bad, but the seeds are still good. They're there to plant what we've learned from the situation and to remind us of the great taste that was once held in that space."
I think I'll remember these 2. "Someone said to me recently, "With all due respect, you have to realize that stopping a war between countries is far more difficult than stopping a verbal war with someone in your everyday life."
At first glance I would agree, but upon reflection I would say No. Why because stopping a war in Iraq or in Vietnam would have required the Humility to admit that a man was wrong. That is something that almost all Politicians and in particular 2 Presidents (Bush and Johnson) would never be able to acknowledge! I find it much easier to admit the mistakes in my own relationships than a Politico admiting wrong!
You said "Would you like to smile and hug when you happen to run into them at the grocery store? Or would you prefer to become a bundle of nerves, feel the unresolved anger boiling within you and avoid saying hello at all costs?"
LOL Very Important! When you live in such a small crowded comunity like WeHo yeah understand. I run into ex's and ONS's all the time. San Diego may be big but like LA we have our little neighborhoods! Life is so much easier with out the personal drama! Nite Jason
Ronald - Hate IS a strong word! Too much in the extreme for someone who likes life in the grey. xo L, J.
DeWayne - I dunno, I think I got a little heavy handed with the fruit encore. lol It was leaking over from a KabbalahCurious.com post I had just done on the "apple" earlier in the morning. lol Glad you liked though. And yes, it IS way more important than we realize I think to curb personal drama where we can because that is just another form of personal attack and the behavioral pattern that created the way we choose to handle this war in the first place. xo L, J.
That's really moving- and very true. Its odd to meet someone who is in tune with their feelings yet smart enough to be able to pen them ;)
Tusmi - I was talking with a friend of mine about this the other day. He's very introspective and a writer, like me, and I have had to come to the conclusion recently that this is like, a little "gift" that not everyone has. It used to really anger me when someone wasn't willing to dive into the shade of themselves and bring a flashlight. But I think I've learned that some people just don't know where to begin, just like I wouldn't know where to begin sitting down with a guitar to pick out a Fleetwood Mac song. Okay, now this is becoming an ENTIRELY separate blog entry... lol, which I will be posting soon. Thanks for the inspiration! ;-) xo L, J.
Post a Comment
<< Home