Kabbalah on Relationships

A few years back, I opened a blog very different from any other project I've taken on called KabbalahCurious.com.

It's still up for your perusal, should you wish to take a gander. I've been a student for a total of 12 years now, and I not only study the aspects that The Kabbalah Centre teaches, but even the various branches they don't teach, including the meditative and magical elements of the Qabala sect as well. (I've got stacks of books by Israel Regardie I still haven't gotten through.)

I never stopped studying Kabbalah, but I stopped updating the blog -- namely because a series of events in my own life led me to the thought: "Who am I to tell anyone how to live theirs?" Some would argue I wasn't doing that to begin with, but only chronicling my own journey. Still, something just stopped feeling right about putting something as private as my own personal spiritual journey on display for the world to consume.

Okay, okay... I also got a little tired of people thinking I was just plain nuts. Truth be told, yes I still speak to inanimate objects. I still am guarded by the four archangels I sometimes greet at the start of my day. I still have a marching band of spirit guides, some of whom I see from time to time. I still get premonitions about the future that come to fruition. In short, I'm still a total loon. I have just learned to keep those things to myself. I don't know if that's healthy or not and I don't know that I'll keep them to myself forever. But that has been my path for the past couple of years. So there you have the story of, "What ever happened to KabbalahCurious.com?"

That said, I was listening to a seminar from the amazing new site UKabbalah.com this evening while cleaning house and it just so happens it was all about relationships. So many of the things the teacher discussed were things I desperately needed to hear. I find things stick with me more when I write them down (or type them out) and read them repeatedly so I thought I'd jot them down here, also for anyone else who might get some use out of them.

These are only a few key notes and highlights from the lecture. There were lots of others I'm going to keep to myself for the time being. But here are some I thought others might be interested in.

Kabbalah is not for everyone. But when I need it most, it gives me answers to the questions I have in my life and continues to remind me of the things most important, constantly pushing me to strive for a better version of myself.


"You can not reach the next level of your evolution as a human being on your own. You can't grow alone. It is impossible. The point of human interaction, the only reason we are broken up into separate entities, the only point of relationships of any kind is to help us to grow. You must have at least one person in your life in some capacity where you are willing to change yourself for them, someone you're willing to be completely selfless for. If you don't have a lover, a spouse or a partner, you must find a friend to do it for. Someone you have a connection with like none other who inspires you to want to be better."

"In partnerships, this should be a simple concept yet it is not. If both parties devoted themselves entirely to suiting the other person's needs, if both parties gave of themselves selflessly for just that one person, it would naturally negate all problems, wouldn't it? There would never be a problem in the relationship! So why are there problems? The problem comes the second one party says to themselves (or even worse aloud) about their spouse, 'You should change.' Watch it. Without fail, it will happen every time. That is the beginning of any problem in any relationship. 'You should change.' Those are magic words of death. See how the energy changes. The tone changes. The kids will look at you weird the second you start thinking it. I promise you. Go home and watch it happen."

"'You're the one with the problem, not me,' are words that have started every war we've ever known."

"And what about those moments where you think you've done so much for them? You've changed so much, you've tried so hard, right? And then they still say, 'You're selfish,' so you get ANGRY at them. You scream, 'After all I did, you STILL think I'm selfish?' Well, I've got news for you: If you're getting upset about it and screaming at them, then yes you're still selfish. They're right."

"Life is so much better once we take responsibility for everything. Even when things aren't our fault we can take responsibility. All the good. All the bad. Then the power is yours. You're not giving your power up to somebody by taking responsibility. You've just made yourself the most powerful person in the room. If you're responsible for everything, YOU'RE the only one who can change it. And that's good news because there's only one thing you're in control of ever and that's your self. Any idea that you will ever have any control over anything else in the world but you is a total illusion."

"It's not how much you love a person when you love them, but how much you love a person when you don't. True soul mates will always drive each other crazy. How can you grow without it?"