Are You a Liza or a Barbra?

Another early morning yesterday as Mikey and I headed to Vegas at 10:00 am. He's been feeling a little under the weather so I drove there and back in the same day, which although I really do love road trips, can be one hellatious journey. By the time we got home at 2:00 am, I crashed hard for 8 hours.

It was a fun day though! And truth be told, the road trip itself was probably my favorite part; playing truth or dare with Mikey, listening to music, talking about our relationship, our goals for the future, etc. I'm a sucker for all that shit.

We walked around the Forum Shops at Caesar's Palace where we ran into Roman Heart who was hanging with friends and going to see Toni Braxton in concert later that evening. He tells me he is off to Indiana (my home state) to "meet a boy" but is looking very forward to coming back to Los Angeles to do The X Show at RAGE on Tuesday, December 5th. He looked freaking gorgeous and when I went to hug him I could feel his cock pushing up against leg. (What was he, on viagra, wearing a cock ring?!) It made the hug last a little longer than it probably should have, but what a lovely birthday treat to run into him and his penis literally.

Mikey took me to an awesome dinner buffet at Caesar's where we gorged and then pushed on to the Luxor to hang for a bit before seeing Liza Minnelli in concert. Now, constant readers will remember we saw her there in October, so I will say that it was the exact same set list except one very, very special treat: She added the song "You've Let Yourself Go" (originally from the album Liza with a Z) that she hadn't sung live in many years.

So why are we seeing her again when we just saw her at the same venue a month ago? Well, for one thing, tickets to Liza are always relatively inexpensive and Las Vegas is just a hop, skip and a jump away. But my main reasoning is this: How many people in history can say they saw Barbra Streisand and Liza Minnelli perform in the same week? Much less the same week as their birthday!

One thing Mikey and I really noticed about the two shows is the vast difference between the two legendary divas' personalities. The self-confessed reclusive, paranoid and often plagued with fear Barbra Streisand plays sold out stadiums for thousands of dollars a ticket and yet is often seen performing with a scowl on her face, usually complains about the world in general from the stage and for the most part seems unhappy or at the very least unappreciative to be there. The social butterfly and "never say die" Liza Minnelli plays to small houses for a little over 50 bucks a ticket and is always beaming, always performs and heck just lives with a great passion for life and is always so grateful anyone even came to see her and that she can still do what she loves best.

You can have all the love and all the money and all the fame and adoration in the world and still be so unhappy. Or you can have none of that and be happier than you've ever been and carry on with just as much passion and love.

I had a rough year, you know? Worst ever to be really honest. I had some people I thought were my friends betray me. I nearly lost the love of my life and my best friend. I took a beating financially. I lost confidence in myself and my talent. I had some truths that I thought were concrete crumble. Believe it or not, I heard -- really heard -- for the first time recently that old addage about the true test of your character being how you handle yourself in the face of adversity. I'm ashamed to say that when the going got rough this year, I retreated and I shut down and I made things worse for myself. I didn't handle things very well at all in the face of adversity, so what does that say about my character?

Liza Minnelli has had a life that could be looked at as one of the most tragic imaginable, even though she will never see it that way, God bless her. Through a painful upbringing, many divorces, friends dying, addictions, money problems, voice problems, weight problems, lawsuits -- she keeps smiling and keeps performing. I saw her perform days after the David Gest accusations and I saw her perform weeks after her best friend and lyricist Fred Ebb's death. She never lets anything get in the way of her passion for life and her love for people.

From now on, when the going gets rough, I want to be a Liza, not a Barbra. And that was a very important lesson for me to learn this year -- and one I probably wouldn't have totally realized if I hadn't seen them both perform as bookends this week. And that may be the only thing that could have made those outrageous Babs ticket prices actually worth it!

I heard that Liza was doing a second 1:00 am invite-only show for Vegas performers and celebrities, so I managed to sweet talk the ushers about my birthday enough to get them to let me into the show. But Mikey was tired and has been sick and didn't want his sleep schedule thrown off getting back into L.A. at 7:00 am just to see what could be the exact same show again. He said he would stay if I really wanted to, which was sweet, but I could tell he really wanted to go. And believe it or not, yes, he and his happiness are more important to me than Liza. LOL... Oh God, how far we have come in a year.

Today is my actual birthday. I turn 27 at 5:30 pm, at which time I will be at dinner with a few friends. Just a low-key, small birthday dinner. Nothing too crazy as I have to get back to work and my crazy holiday schedule in the morning.